A sex offender is a sex offfender no matter what the girl did or said before this happened he SHOULD be charged!!! Unless she said Oh yes please rape me several times, which I am sure she did not he should pay for the crime he commited and not just a slap on the wrist! Put him in a cell with a guy who has been in prison for a long, long time and will rape him repeatedly and see how he feels about it!!! As a victim myself, I had my "friend" be my designated driver (smart thing to do right???) well he put something in my drink and when we returned to my house he raped me, I called the police and they sent 2 MALE officers to my home, who treated me like it was my fault and I had done something to allow it to happen, they had me sign paperwork to drop any charges and never even offered to take me to the hospital for a rape test kit, this happened in Florida not here, and in 2003 but I live withthe thought daily and am now in therapy and on medications because it has caused many other isssues such as PTSD and I now have anxiety and panic attacks (and have to be medicated for these). This LOSER took part of my life away that I am now fighting very hard to get back, I do not drink at all anymore (never was a big drinker just wanted to go out that night), I do not go out in large groups as I will have a panic attack, and the guy who did this to me gets to live his life normally as if nothing ever happened, and has probably done it to others. All of these losers should be put in a room with sex starved prisoners and raped over and over again to see how it feels to be violated in this way!!!!!!

waaaaa? This Man mollested a young girl? Quick...now lets LUMP ALL Heterosexual men in this catagory. .....listen up society, you can not trust heterosexual men around young girls....see how stereotyping works.

disgusted american, that was just not relevant.

I think it's awful that they are worried about the victim's "credibility." A victim is a victim is a victim. Sometimes there are false reports, but only about 2% of the time. That means about 98% victims of sexual violence are telling the truth. (MECASA.org).

also, disgusted american, some food for thought (the following statistics are also from MECASA.org (Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault): about 90% of all sexual assaults are actually men perpetrating against women. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation, so no one is lumping all heterosexual men together. Also, all men are not rapists or even potential rapists. Quite the contrary, they are all potential allies in the fight against sexual violence.

It's too bad the news really only follows stories that are later sensationalized and glamorized on TV shows -- it's actually more common for victim and perpetrator to be in the same age range, the same peer group; indeed about 85% of victims know their perpetrators.

Tysmom, I feel for you, and hope you don't feel alone in your survivor struggle. But you are just that, a survivor! have you heard of any of your local rape crisis centers/sexual assault support centers? Here's the Rape Response Services Hotline #, which is free, confidentia, 24/7, available to anyone affected by sexual violence at any time, run by trained professionals! 1-800-310-0000. They serve the Penobscot and Piscataquis Counties, and if you are from a different county they can direct you to the right place.

Coexist- Thank you for your kind words! Losers like disgusted american just don't understand and they never will until it happens to them(if female), his wife, or daughter, or other close family member, then it will be a whole different story! I have contacted many therapist for help with this and saw one for 4 years and she never even touched on the issue nor diagnosed me with PTSD or anxiety/panic attacks related to what happened, I have now found an angel of a counselor and I have only been seeing her for a few months and she already has me working through the issues the rape (anxiety, panic attacks, ADD, and even caused mild OCD) has caused next we are working on the feelings of blaming myself for "letting" it happen and the other issues us rape victims have with overcoming the guilt that we let it happen and what we did to cause it, she is not pushing me just letting me talk about it in my own time, sometimes we don't talk about it at all, she has also offered to let me bring in my cat, she knows how attached we are to each other (knowing he would make me a bit more relaxed and maybe easier since I have trouble talking about it), she has a wonderful way of counseling and I am so glad I have found her, I finally can start to get back my life. I had even tried my own way of counseling or dealing with it which was drugs but found that it only masked the pain until I got high the next time, so now clean and sober for almost 5 years I am doing it the right way, although very hard, it is the way it needs to be done to finally be free of the guilt! My family was a HUGE support even through the "self therapy", if not for them I don't know where I would be right now! A man never will understand the damage it causes, I have not dated since the rape, and the thought of sex just terrifies me and I am only 34 years old, I someday want to be marrried and have a family so I need to get this worked out so that all that can happen. So all you men who think it doesn't mess the girl/woman up to bad your very, very wrong, it haunts you everyday of your life!

In Maine, you already know the answer to that one.

mtaylor // Mr_confusios: i guess the question is asked and answered.

As for tysmom, what can be said but what she says she wants someone to suffer by another runs contray to logic. The accused and that is all they are right now deserve thier day in court. If the evidence is sound then they get convicted not before hand. There are too many out there for money and false acts. Beyond a reasonable doubt so you have to beleive they are innocent until the evidence is overwhelming against them. Get on with your life find a job stop taking the state check and sure you found a doctor who agreed with you now, how many did not agree with you, i am sure you will never say. Also you dont have the mark cornered on abuse, there are many boys who have suffered at the hands of moms, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, female teachers, doctors, counsilors and on and on and on so stop thinking females have a cause here.

If this man had sex with a 13 year old girl, then the rest is moot. That is statutory rape and he should go to jail.

It is impossible to have a dialogue on this subject (and many others) Hey adults, a conversation goes like this:

I state my case, another poster disagrees, and with respect states their case. Other posters may join in and even pick sides, but people should never insult or denigrate a poster due to their thoughts or beliefs.

Tips for posters who have a problem with this format:

Everything is NOT about you.

Everyone has a different life experience (as in Men and boys can be raped and molested also)

Many people throughout your life will see things differently than you, some might be your landlord, your employer, or your spouse, so, it might be diplomatic to use your inside voices when stating an opinion.

Just when you think you know it all

All of a sudden you hit the bottom of the barrel

Dang if / when you resurface

Dang what a change in Attitude

Sometimes IT happens early in live / sometimes late

How many different bottom of the barrel are there

To many to bother typing

Tysmom,

As a man with no troubles, problems or haunting past experiences, I cannot fathom the depth of your rage or understand your ranting.

I'm not discounting your honest emotions. I simply can't understand how anyone can suffer for so long and have so much trouble following one event.

I can easily understand the longterm ramifications for a child. Maybe it's because men and women are so emotionally different.

Somewhere there lies a problem with you or your therapaist(?). "Comment board therapy" is not something I would engage in or recommend.

This crime was a consequence of your actions (a long time ago) and circumstances that you put yourself in but it certainly WASN'T your fault. The blame lies 100% on your assailant. The way it was handled by the police was also negligent. I fully understand that anger. I would probably spend every day plotting retribution. (I don't recomment that either)

Your story reinforces my dislike and mistrust of therapists. I hope you can find a competant one and get well. Time is short. Don't let it pass you by. Set a goal, work out your problems. You deserve the reward of a warm, loving husband and children who adore their mom!

And try not to hold it against us men. It's not that we don't trust or believe what you're saying. We (most of us) just can't relate.

Do not know if Confusios said this

I just know I Did when I resurfaced

HarryHSnyder re: 3:52 good advice and compliments the posting guidelines stressed by the BDN....following these suggestions would certainly make for better debate but hasen't worked for many thus far.... Anyhow thanks for the reminders....

Fry him and then fry the judge!!!

My beef is with the writing of this story. it's so poorly written it's hard to know what's going on with this case. Having said that as far as I'm concerned any thirteen year old is a child, who should not be held to the same standard as an adult. oh, ya, Bwhite you might want to cut tysmom a little slack.

ps Just to be clear on what I mean by .... "consequence of your actions"

Having a car accident would be a consequence of driving to the store to get milk. Millions of people go to the store for milk just like they go out with friends for entertainment. It wasn't bad judgement.

tysmom: So sorry to hear of all you have been through. You seem to be trying to do all you can , though, to deal with the ramifications. I hope you have plenty of support (good friends, family, etc.) I hope things will get better for you with time. They usually do.

Maine does not want to put child molesters in prison because of the high cost to keep them safe from the other inmates. So the courts look for anything they can find to not prosecute them to the full extent of the law.

I'm not defending this guy but the article was poorly written and uninformative. Was there DNA evidence? What was the content of the emails that were not allowed to be disclosed? Is it possible this guy is innocent?

Fry the guy if he's guilty! But find him guilty first!

The child is victimized again--by a System hell-bent on catching the rape on video tape or discovering it in a dead body.

knowitall and BangorDS : Pretty uneducated statements. Thank god you have nothing to do with the judicial system. Ignorant statements by unifnformed dolts like you could cost that young girl and that man their day in court.. Just cause it's a young girl doesn't mean she is telling the truth. Just because it's a man doesn't mean he did it. Doesn't mean he didn't, either. Your prejudgement is ignoranrt based on what the article stated. Take your prejudgemental glasses off and let the system work. In the mean time, try to get educated, okay?

I want to thank all the people (mainly women) who have supported my comments, I also would like to thanks the idiots who posted uneducated comments (mostly the men) as to how this could still affect me it proved to me that me are just as insensitive pigs as I thought, here is some advice for you MEN (cause you are so tough and nothing apparently would bother you for 6 years) well go sleep in a prison cell one night with a guy who has been in there for a while and is looking for something to have sex with, then let me know how long it takes you to "get over it". and if you don't just "get over it" don't come looking for sympathy here!!!

Mattcarbone- thanks for your concern with my therapists but obviously you did not read my posts correctly so I suggest you read them again, and not really clear as to if you are telling me its my fault or not, and it affects a grown woman the same as it would a child, a person STILL TOOK SOMETHING from you and violated you, not such an easy thing to just forget about!

it certainly WASN'T your fault. The blame lies 100% on your assailant. is what mattcarbone wrote.

How can it be any more clearly stated? gee whiz no wonder the therapy is going so slow. Good luck. You need it.

yep! another insensitive Jerk you just proved my point!!!!!

You obviously missed the "it was a consequence of YOUR actions" part!!!

tysmom, this article is not about you, it's about the credibility of a 13 year old girl from the Paris area, the assailant ,which you have found guilty ,may not have done anything at all. Get on with your therapy and I'll be prayng for your success.

I think this maybe a tissue moment??????????

Some people just plain crave attention. They interject their issues into any BDN story. Get over it tysmom.

I have to agree, this is not a place for therapy.

If you are sensitive this is not the place to be.

Maybe they should stick to Dr. Phil or Opra, that’s a little bit more suited for people with issues.

By the way EVERYONE CAN STOP WORRYING ABOUT MY THERAPY, Its going just fine and we are dealing with the issue , IT DOES NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT! LIKE ALL YOU MEN think it does, ask any women or child who has been molested or raped and ask them how long it took to "get over it" go down to the rape crisis center and ask or here is the phone # you can just call 1-800-310-0000! Call them see what they have to say!!

People are so cruel in the comments section...willfully or knowingly causing pain or distress to others...enjoying the pain or distress of others...