The Bossie family suffered a devastating loss when 26-year-old Ryan, the youngest of three siblings, died last month. The family took the unusual step of including Ryan’s struggle with addiction in his obituary. ”Ryan Douglas Bossie died in Portland,” his obituary read, “after losing a hard-fought battle with addiction.”
In 2013, 176 Maine people died of drug overdoses and abuse, according to figures from the attorney general’s office. That’s more people than died in vehicle crashes.
Addiction is a chronic disease that has much in common with Type II diabetes, cancer and cardiovascular diseases, yet it is still surrounded by stigma and shame for both the user and family members. Very few obituaries are like Bossie’s and mention addiction as the cause of death.
Certainly, families shouldn’t be expected to share uncomfortable information, but the continued stifling of discussion about addiction — and the wide range of people who suffer from it — bolsters the false notion that drug addiction is a problem of the poor, the rich, the mentally ill — basically, anyone who is different from us.
Drug addiction strikes our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers, and for many like the Bossies, our families. Of the overdose deaths in 2013, 105 were attributable to prescription opioids. Addiction can start with a prescription for a painkiller after an accident or injury. Addiction treatment and recovery take support and understanding from family, friends and co-workers.
Only 19 percent of addicts seek treatment, Michael Botticelli, director of the White House’s Office of National Drug Control Policy, said at a forum in Bangor in October. The perception that those suffering from addiction just refuse to “quit” — ignoring the fact that addiction is a disease — is harmful and prevents people from seeking opportunities to recover, Botticelli said.
Botticelli himself is a recovering addict. He told the Bangor audience he was introduced to alcohol at an early age and battled alcoholism before giving it up more than 20 years ago.
Monday’s BDN story about Ryan Bossie has been read nearly 30,000 times, showing interest in furthering discussions about addiction.
The first draft of Ryan’s obituary simply stated that he had died, his older brother Andrew Bossie of Portland recalled to the BDN. But Andrew — who had witnessed Ryan’s battle to overcome addiction to heroin firsthand after his younger brother moved to Portland to get clean — added the reason why.
“I just said I don’t think we should be ashamed of this,” Andrew said.
“It’s better than sweeping it under the rug, and I think if it helps someone else, then fantastic,” he added.
The rest of the family agreed to take the rare step of disclosing addiction as the cause of death. Ryan had spoken openly about his struggle and attempts at recovery, his older brother said. Ryan worked repairing and maintaining properties and hoped to receive a certification in welding from Northern Maine Community College. He looked forward to becoming an uncle.
“It was truly a struggle,” Andrew Bossie said. “I hope that by including that maybe it helps someone else just a little bit, that their story has a different ending.”
And different endings will start with a willingness to acknowledge addiction and talk about it openly.