If I were asked to give a speech on the state of affairs on domestic violence, it would go something like this: It recently occurred to me why we are not as successful in this epic struggle as one would hope. There are many reasons, but I want to highlight two in particular.
First, we haven’t had much time. We are only 30 years into a battle against a foe that has been entrenched for hundreds of years. Have you ever read stories in history books about domestic abuse? Do you ever recall your grandparents discussing domestic violence? The term “domestic violence” did not appear on law enforcement radars until the early 1980s; it didn’t become a statutory crime until many years later. It was during this time that advocacy groups successfully lobbied the Legislature to enact new domestic violence laws, which finally strengthened the hand of law enforcement and established a new mindset in dealing with domestic abuse cases. These were the first salvoes fired in what has become an all-out offensive.
Speaking of battles, some of our best have been with each other. Law enforcement and social service agencies have not always played well together. The war against given social problems often took a back seat to the skirmishes between those entities tasked with fighting the identified enemy. I am proud to say this has been one of our true success stories over the past 20 years. Law enforcement and social service advocates no longer eye each other with suspicion and distrust. They now work collectively toward common goals and consider each other allies in this battle.
Due in no small part to current and former directors of these advocacy organizations, doors have been opened to unprecedented collaboration between their respective organizations and law enforcement. This partnership has extended to the organizations themselves as police routinely serve on boards overseeing these agencies while advocates are no longer strangers inside the once secretive inner sanctum of law enforcement organizations.
Second, we haven’t been using the right message. Many battles often are won or lost by mere perception. In this case, the media unwittingly dictates public perception of domestic violence. As long as our casualties make the 6 o’clock news while our victories remain silent, the public’s perception is that of a losing battle.
I am going to risk chastisement by those I support and defend by placing some of the blame on ourselves. For years, we have used the deaths of domestic violence victims as the primary message in our campaign against this societal scourge. But I propose a change in our tactics. We should follow the lead of women who suffer from deadly diseases. Breast cancer survivors proudly stand in front of the world to proclaim their victory as they wear their pink shirts and walk in breast cancer awareness marches with family and friends. I recognize the difference between a disease and a crime, and it’s not my intention to compare breast cancer and domestic violence. I simply propose we take a page from their playbook and promote our victories.
Women are taught to look for early signs of breast cancer and take steps for prevention and treatment. Women diagnosed with breast cancer are told it is not necessarily a death sentence and, with proper treatment, life can go on. We encourage women to look for signs of domestic violence and take steps for prevention and protection. We now need to convince women who are victims of domestic violence that, with proper advocacy and intervention, life can go on for them as well.
There are hundreds of women who are domestic abuse survivors — women who successfully have escaped abusive relationships, women whose lives have been saved by intervention and advocacy. This is on top of those women who were able to salvage and maintain a violence-free relationship with those responsible for the abuse. In order to balance the public perception, we need to put names and faces on our victories and mourn our casualties.
The public, along with domestic abuse victims, needs to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The embarrassment associated with being an abuse victim and acknowledgement are small hurdles to overcome when lives are at stake. Much has been accomplished in the past 30 years, but much more can be done.
Vigorous debate no doubt will linger on just what is an appropriate response to domestic violence as long as we all agree a behavioral shift is absolutely necessary for any hope of long-term success. Like anything else in life, the ability and willingness for success lies within each of us.
Steven Edmondson is the domestic violence investigator for the Sagadahoc County district attorney’s office in Bath.