After a recent discussion with a work colleague, I was left with a bit of frustration about how some in the general population view addiction.
One comment I have heard repeatedly is: “Those people who go through rehab use again, and keep doing it over and over. What’s the use? They obviously aren’t getting it.”
Being a woman in recovery, I have pondered this comment. I am fortunate to have stopped using and never started again (yet).
Yet few people give any thought to others who attempt to quit smoking and require multiple attempts before they are successful (if indeed they are successful). No one thinks less of them. On the contrary, they are encouraged to keep trying.
(And before you jump to any conclusions, I am well aware of the different effect of substance use on a family and community compared with nicotine use. I only use smoking as a comparison.)
The difference with people with substance issues is twofold. One is a mental obsession, and the other is a physical compulsion. After trying to stop after years of using an addictive substance, our brains obsess over having our substance of choice. Then our bodies jump in and tell us we can’t live without that substance, too. There’s a double whammy effect.
Though not completely the same, anyone who regularly drinks coffee, stops abruptly and deals with the headaches that follow can surely understand the physical craving analogy.
One thing that people in recovery have to face day to day is the fact that we can never have our substance again, as long as we live, or we could revert back to our old lifestyles.
You may say, “So what? If it means a better lifestyle, what’s the problem?”
The problem is the never part and the daily temptations that are out there. It’s one thing to give up coffee, but what would that feel like if you were told that you could never have another cup of coffee as long as you lived? Or never eat another french fry?
It might be a bit harder to walk down the coffee aisle at the grocery store, or watch TV ads for coffee and fast food.
This is a very simplified comparison, and I am not trying to say that people in rehab aren’t responsible for their actions. I just want to offer a simple example of what is a daily way of life for people like me who have to remember and remain vigilant against our former favorite substances.
Even after 17 years, I occasionally find myself going down the liquor aisle and thinking how nice it would be to have a rum and Coke. And then I panic that I even thought about it because I know from the experience of others that, if I entertain the thought too long, I will convince myself that one rum and Coke won’t hurt anything. (That’s the first step down the rabbit hole back to the “dark side.”)
It’s the same thought process that people in rehab deal with, only they don’t have the experience of my 17 years of sobriety to fall back on. I wonder how much more successful rehab participants would be if they had more support and encouragement — from friends, family and their communities.
I wonder if we would see less incarceration and recidivism. Like the old Beach Boys song said, “Wouldn’t it be nice.”
Jean Baker is a board member of the Bangor Area Recovery Network located in Brewer.
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