“I’m exhausted,” Robin told me at her office appointment. A homemaker raising two teenagers and caring for aging parents, Robin found little time for herself.
Her spouse, though supportive, was often away on business, placing the burden of daily family life management squarely on her shoulders.
In my cardiology practice, I have seen many patients like Robin. The time spent caring for others leaves them little time to care for themselves. And it shows. Robin’s blood pressure was up; she was sleeping poorly; she worried about “everything;” and she struggled with her weight.
Modern life is indeed busy for many. We are asked to “work hard for today, so we can enjoy tomorrow.” Except that tomorrow always becomes the new today. We often fret about the future. We may be preoccupied by a painful past.
Living this way separates us from the one thing we truly have: the present moment.
As the old adage states, “There’s no time like the present!” Mindful living asks us to live this mantra daily.
Under the direction of the “father” of mindfulness in the U.S., Jon Kabat-Zinn — founding executive director of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School — embraced the importance of mindful living more than 35 years ago.
His program has trained many individuals in mindfulness-based stress reduction. They seem to be on to something.
An Internet search will invariably reveal myriad medical problems for which mindfulness-based intervention (MBI) has helped people. It’s been shown to alleviate chronic pain, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, hypertension and obesity.
The fundamental elements of mindful living focus on seven concepts: non-judgment, patience, a beginner’s mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance and letting go. Mindful living is more about being than doing.
These principles are fully explored in Dr. Kabat-Zinn’s “Full Catastrophe Living.” I have recommended this book to many of my patients with hypertension and anxiety before starting medication (providing, of course their anxiety level or blood pressure is not critically high).
I expressed my concern to Robin about her blood pressure, and we discussed the role of stress in her life. Robin asked about medication to help her with stress, but she wasn’t happy about the side effects of these drugs.
I told her about mindfulness-based stress reduction, and she was interested in knowing more. We discussed the importance of restricting sodium in her diet, and I gave her a homework assignment of reading the first two chapters of “Full Catastrophe Living.”
In follow up, Robin shared with me that she had particular difficulty with one of the mindfulness concepts. She worried about her parents as they grew increasingly frail. She worried about them living alone, getting groceries, scammers, bad weather and their diminishing driving skills, to name just a few concerns.
With her kids set to go off to college in the next few years, she also shared her fear of the empty nest. She had trouble letting go.
That’s when we talked about the “worry tree.” I asked her to choose a tree near the entrance to her home and, at day’s end, imagine placing the necklace of worry she forges every day on that tree.
“Then,” I told her, “take a look at that tree in the morning. If you can still find that necklace there, then go ahead — put it back on.”
We also discussed the “100-year rule.” One hundred years from now, Robin and I, along with everyone we know today will have passed. Do the concerns we shoulder on a daily basis really matter that much in the grand scheme of things?
Sometimes a wider perspective can help those struggling with accepting things as they are.
Our tendency to worry about the future and palpate the pain of the past can limit our ability to participate in the present. Living this way creates a sense that something is missing. So we try to fill that void with substances, food, casual relationships and the numbing tonic of overwork, often to the detriment of our well being.
Mindful living can reconnect us with the present, where we can find peace and fulfillment. Our need for unhealthy things abates. Over time Robin’s blood pressure improved. She worried less, and she was happy she lost some weight. She arranged home services to help her keep tabs on her parents, and she now walks regularly with her oldest daughter.
I have had the privilege to practice cardiology for more than 25 years, and in that time I have come to understand the benefits of pills and procedures as well their risks.
Mindfulness-based interventions have the potential to help us to a healthier place where the need for pills and procedures can be minimized. And that, friends, is good medicine.
Scott Deron, a doctor of osteopathic medicine and fellow of the American College of Cardiology, works at St. Joseph Cardiology.
Learn more about writing for the BDN.
If you have a passion, an idea, expertise, and a desire to share it with people who love Maine, we want to hear from you. Click here to find out what it means to write for BDN Maine.