Much has been written about workplace culture, understanding power and authority in a hierarchy, dynamics of the office, and how to navigate both the spoken and unspoken rules of engagement at work.
There are numerous ways you unknowingly might be ceding your authority to others. This post focuses on only one of those ways, arguably the most present and important one: your language.
How you speak conveys as much about you, and often times far more, than how you dress or act. While the latter two also are critical (and alignment among the three – crucial), your language choices may be the single most important tool you use to convey the professionalism and expertise that garner authority.
Authority is not a title, although it most commonly is associated with position or rank. It is also an attitude. Merriam-Webster defines authority as:
- “the power to give orders or make decisions: the power or right to direct or control someone or something”. This definition clearly falls into the “position” camp.
- “the confident quality of someone who knows a lot about something or who is respected or obeyed by other people”. (Attitude)
- “a quality that makes something seem true or real.” (Attitude)
How you speak is a window into your self-confidence. It influences how you are perceived and how seriously you will be listened to.
In coaching college students and young professionals, I have noticed a disturbing trend: word detritus.
In the past 10 years, several speech patterns have become prevalent, particularly in the 30-something-and-under crowd. Words and phrases “like,” “kind of,” and “sort of” have become ever-present sentence fillers. Where one would normally pause or take a breath, “like” invades. And when it, or one of its counterparts, does, your authority takes a hit.
These “filler” expressions often are crutches for nervous speakers, akin to the also ubiquitous “um.” “Like”, “kind of” and “sort of” also act as modifiers, diminishing the resolve or conviction of your statement. They are the equivalent of cautiously looking around the curve for fear of what awaits you. While comfortable for you, these fillers pierce your authority with every linguistic jab.
The sad reality is that speakers rarely are aware of their speech pattern and clueless as to its impact on the perceptions others form as a result.
I had one client who used “like” and “kind of” so often that it was nearly impossible to effectively listen to the content of his communication. It was clear he was completely unaware of the speech habit he had grown so dependent upon.
Are you then, like, giving away your authority without even knowing it?
The good news is that the habit can be broken. It requires:
1. Awareness.
If you don’t know you are doing it, you are unlikely to change.
2. Courage.
On your part, to ask for feedback or on the part of a friend, family member, supervisor or a confidante to make you aware of it. I always say that a sign someone cares about you is when they invest in telling you, gently, something that you need to hear. Record yourself and play it back. You’ll cringe as you hear your authority seeping through the cracks of your debris-filled speech.
3. Practice.
Speech patterns are built up over time and are hard to change. You will need a partner, or several, to help you change your speech pattern. And lots of practice until cleaner speech becomes your new habit.
A great exercise for breaking the “like/kind of/sort of” habit is to enlist a friend or partner to silently keep track of the number of times you use the phrases. Only after you have finished speaking, should your partner inform you of the tally. (Spoiler alert: You’ll be shocked.) Keep a daily log of the count, and record your progress.
Another exercise is to actively listen for these speech patterns in others. When you listen for them, you will have a better understanding of how the fillers detract from the communication content and erode the authority of the speaker.
Do these exercises for a few weeks and you will reduce your use of the terms, thereby sharpening your message clarity and subsequently increasing your authority. Ultimately, you will find your voice, and it will be a stronger voice, unfettered by useless and unnecessary words. Do this, and you will bring increased confidence and greater authority to your work.
Lisa R. Miller is founder and chief career catalyst at C2C, College to Career, LLC where she helps college students, recent graduates and young professionals navigate the transition from college to career faster and with more confidence.
Learn more about launching a job search and developing strong interview skills at the upcoming C2C College to Career Boot Camp, to be held Jan. 5 and 6, in Falmouth.
Participants will craft compelling resumes and cover letters, create LinkedIn profiles that earn attention, learn to avoid job-killing social media mistakes, and get coaching on the art and science of job interviewing.
The C2C Career Boot Camp also includes a panel of employers, who will discuss what they seek in job applicants, as well as common pitfalls and how to avoid them.