Abigail Thomas gave the biggest hugs, her younger sister Iris Stanley said.
Thomas, 41, of Corinth also loved giving gifts and seeing the reactions from people who received the presents, Stanley said. The sisters were both headstrong and as “forces of nature” they would butt heads but there was always love, Stanley said.
Thomas was shot and killed Saturday. Her son, 22-year-old Daniel Derosier, is charged with intentional or knowing murder in Penobscot County Superior Court and is held in the Penobscot County Jail without bail.
He allegedly shot Thomas at their home in Village Green Trailer Park in Corinth. Thomas’ 17-year-old son and her husband witnessed the shooting, according to court records.
Derosier had moved back in with the family the week of Thanksgiving, court records said. In the weeks before, Thomas was glad to have all her boys together again, her longtime friend Dawn Bouchard said.
“She was so happy to have Daniel back in her life and her husband and her boys,” Bouchard said. “She loved hard and she loved those kids.”
Bouchard was 16 years old and had just transferred schools in coastal Maine when she met Thomas, who became one of her first friends there. They lost touch after school but reconnected years ago when Bouchard realized they lived nearby.
“She had the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known,” Bouchard said. “She’s like me, we’re kindred spirits. We loved animals. We collected all the animals.”
Thomas loved birds, Stanley said. She had three birds and Bouchard is going to adopt them now.
When Thomas moved out of their childhood home, Stanley moved into her old room. Stanley said she knew Thomas loved music, especially Nirvana, because she had carved “I [heart] Kurt Cobain” into the window trim.
Thomas was also an avid poet, Stanley said. Whenever Thomas gave her mom greeting cards there would be a new poem she had written inside.
“She was a very silly person,” Stanley said. “A free spirit, and full of the devil. Even then, she was kind and would do anything to help anybody.”
As kids, Stanley was jealous that her older sister got to go to school before she could, but Thomas indulged Stanley by playing school with her at home.
Thomas would later award Stanley stickers if she got a good grade.
Thomas was always willing to drop everything and help her friends, Bouchard said. She needed help moving some appliances one day and Thomas and her husband were more than happy to come, Bouchard said.
They could go months without talking and could pick the friendship up like no time had passed, Bouchard said. She said she’s thankful she got to see Thomas the week before her death.
In the days after Thomas’ death, Stanley has spent as much time with family as possible, but is also spending time with friends for comfort. Humor and being around others has helped keep Stanley grounded, she said.
The family is devastated but holding it together, Stanley said. Their mom is being protective to make sure Thomas’ husband and teenage son are taken care of. There’s a GoFundMe to help the family, Stanley said, and they’re hoping they can find housing in Lincoln County to be close to relatives.
Losing a family member in a violent way is isolating, Stanley said. People don’t know what to say and she said she doesn’t know what to say to others.
“For a word that’s all soft consonants, ‘murder’ is all sharp corners and harsh edges — it’s jarring,” Stanley said. “With a traumatic loss, you don’t just lose a loved one, you lose a sense of normalcy.”