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Francine Garland Stark is the executive director of the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence, and Regina Rooney is the programming director.
Maine’s political landscape was upended by the revelations about Graham Platner’s behavior toward women. The tide of support for Platner’s candidacy, however, signified the deep desire of many Mainers for the federal government to ensure that all have access to quality healthcare, thriving wages, affordable housing, and the other basic components necessary for living safe and stable lives — as well as widespread outrage about the violence committed in wars and anti-immigration actions funded with our tax dollars.
This month, an ICE officer — who it turns out has a documented history of violence — killed 26-year-old Johan Sebastián Durán Guerrero on the street in Biddeford, in front of his wife and 3-year-old child. Many feel desperate for change.
Throughout Platner’s campaign, he admitted to appalling behavior that he attributed to his past in the hypermasculine context of the military and post-war struggles. Many of his supporters were inspired by his apparent openness and were hopeful that his journey to redemption would foster conversations about how people can acknowledge and atone for past behavior, and knowing better, do better. People were so inspired, in fact, that many were willing to overlook signs that otherwise would have been considered “red flags.”
While Platner’s behavior — both admitted and alleged — became extraordinarily public, the behavior itself is deeply ordinary. Men remain overwhelmingly responsible for intimate partner violence. Their abuse of women is commonplace. Every day in our state, country, and world, men are hurting women, most often behind closed doors, where the public eye can’t easily see. And we know these men. They are our family members, co-workers, neighbors, and yes, our elected officials. There is no sphere in our communities where men who perpetrate violence do not exist, just as there is no space without survivors.
Women are told to identify “red flags.” But it’s not as simple as it sounds. And people do change — sometimes for the better, sometimes not. Failure to spot “red flags” becomes something to castigate victims of domestic abuse with, just as we ask why they didn’t speak out sooner, or report it to the police, or leave. All of this implies that it is not men’s responsibility to stop their abusive behavior; it is women who are responsible for recognizing and avoiding it. These ingrained thought patterns linger in our public consciousness, reminding us we haven’t evolved as much as we’d like to think.
People are trying to make meaning out of what has happened. One way towards a kind of collective justice would be to harness this energy to make the broad changes needed to address domestic and sexual abuse and violence, as well as the deeply connected economic issues that create vulnerability.
We know that housing, healthcare, childcare, and financial stability are proven to keep people safe and prevent future violence. Transforming our cultural understanding of gender roles would interrupt the ideas that lead to abuse and make people — regardless of gender — happier and safer. Providing easy access to contraception and abortion services is a critical protective factor for those experiencing sexual abuse and reproductive coercion, from a partner or someone else — as is access to the full range of healthcare across the lifespan. Investing in services provided by Domestic Violence Resource Centers for people escaping abuse as well as Certified Domestic Violence Intervention Programs for people who have committed this harm ensures that help and support to change is there for people who seek it.
Every day, our organizations help over 500 survivors of abuse and violence across Maine, fielding an average of 50 helpline calls each day. We are outraged by the experiences described by Jenny Racicot and Lyndsey Fifield and rightly so. May we all be as outraged by the experiences of the invisible survivors among us, too. And may we work together as a state to make the changes needed to prevent abuse and violence, now and in the future.
If you or someone you know needs help, reach a local advocate in your area by calling the statewide Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-866-834-4357. Deaf or hard of hearing? Call 1-800-437-1220.