Outdoors
The BDN outdoors section brings readers into the woods, waters and wild places of Maine. It features stories on hunting, fishing, wildlife, conservation and recreation, told by people who live these experiences. This section emphasizes hands-on knowledge, field reports, issues, trends and the traditions that define life outside in Maine. Read more Outdoors stories here.
I’ve recently learned that I am an influencer. I don’t like it.
I write a weekly birding column. I produce a birding channel on YouTube. Marketing geniuses across the globe have noticed. They contact me daily, hoping I will review their products and promote them. Some even promise a percentage for anybody I influence to buy their product.
I’m not interested. Leave me alone.
On the other hand, I’m learning a lot about birding-related products on the market that I’ve never heard of before.
My favorite sales pitches are for smart bird feeders. Some have cameras for taking photos and sharing videos. Some automatically identify birds. Marketers offer to send these feeders to me free to try out, with the expectation that I’ll tell readers about how good they are.
For most product offers, I don’t bother to reply. But if I’m in a surly mood, I will respond to the smart-feeder people with one simple question just for fun. “Can your product survive being shredded by the black bears that regularly destroy feeders in my backyard?” I never hear back from those marketers again.
When a smart feeder meets a dumb bear, the bear wins every time.
I receive lots of pitches for smart binoculars, capable of taking photos and even video. Some claim to identify birds. Some do both. But how well? And do I really want binoculars that need regular software updates?
Binoculars already require settling for a compromise. There is no perfect pair. Higher quality equals higher price. More power means more weight. Conversely, binoculars described as “travel” or “lite” have undersized lenses and produce a darker image.
Now, imagine the compromises involved in trying to combine a camera with binoculars. The camera either needs its own lens, or it shoots through one of the lenses you’re looking through. It likely affects the view, not to mention adding uncomfortable weight and an awkward feel.
A binocular/bird identification combo similarly adds weight and bulk and likely fails to satisfy either goal. Smart identification is getting better, but there’s still lots of room for improvement. I can’t imagine owning a pair of binoculars that cheated on image quality to provide bird identification functionality, only to have the ID sometimes be dead wrong.
Binoculars with built-in gadgets would require a power source. I can’t fathom having to recharge my optics, or forgetting to install the batteries. And did I mention software updates? Do I really want my binoculars to require WIFI or telecommunications towers?
I bird in remote areas of Maine, usually out of cell phone range. Anything I bring into the woods that is dependent on the Internet is useless. In fact, sometimes I bird these areas just to get away from it all. I don’t want to be connected.
I also get pitches for night-vision optics. Usually, they are mere game camera variations. Sometimes they feature night scopes, yielding a thermal image. Most of these products are designed for nocturnal wildlife-watching in general, not specifically birds. Frankly, I don’t go night birding to look for coyotes.
I’ve received several recent requests for publicity from environmental groups striving to save the planet. Look, if I had any real influence, I’d persuade the government to not roll back the Endangered Species Act. Unfortunately, that’s already happened.
A new sales pitch just landed in my box this morning. It asked me to review special-order bird seed. Really? No, thanks. I will continue to get my sunflower seeds and suet at Blue Seal in Bangor. If my local birds don’t like it, the spoiled brats can just go somewhere else.
Those seeking my influence come from all over the globe. They say something like: “We admire your videos on YouTube and greatly appreciate your content. We think your viewers would really like our product. We’re seeking partnerships with creators like yourself and would like to send you our product to review.”
I know they are sending this same message to other perceived influencers. I wish them to know that they do not have to inflate my ego. It’s already inflated.
In the final analysis, I want to be able to identify birds personally. If my feeder, optics and phone are doing all the work, it’s the tools that are smart, not me.
Now, if Swarovski wants to gift me a pair of their new $5,500 10×32 AX Visio Binoculars that combine superlative optics, video camera and bird identification in return for my influential mention in this column, I’m all ears.
