“Curiosity is a muscle. Questions are exercise.”
This quote by fellow journalist M. Diane McCormick I found some time ago. I was reminded of it while reading Pauline Armstrong Cates’ memoir, Because She Asked.
The curiosity of a granddaughter is revealed when her question — “What was life like when you were growing up, Nana?” — ignites both memory and perseverance. It produces an exercise of words gathered, stories formed and a life made incarnate for generations to be humbled by what yesterdays were required to make today possible.
Cates’ stories provide a glimpse of a much bigger story, one of strength driven by both passion and fortitude she garnered as a teacher and administrator for more than 35 years. Born and raised in Machias, she and her husband, Stephen, live in Cutler. Her writing reflects a kindred bond to this area due in part to it being her mother’s hometown and where her grandfather served as keeper of Little River Light.
Life offers many challenges, chores and consequences. This memoir cradles many of those moments. Composed of a prologue, four “life” sections— Early Years, Daily Life, Later Years, The Turn of the Seasons — and an eloquent epilogue, it is a road map of a life embraced by both Down East culture and a giving community.
In her prologue, Cates adds a depth of color to a black-and-white life many of us visit within our own dusty photographs of the past framed behind glass. After her mother’s death Cates spends a decade sifting through relics and reminders of days past. Walking room-by-room, she shares the details of her mother and father amidst the dust that clings to weathered floors.
She closes by thanking her granddaughter for asking that question: “You gave me a gift of a lifetime. I relived memories, I saw my parents through adult eyes, and I was grateful for the life I’d had in spite of the hardships.”
In those early years of life, she recalls a mother, a father, letters instead of phone calls and visits to town. The neighborhood was in itself a parent to all the children, providing memories of days spent during the summer, the end of summer and the start of school for the very first time.
Daily life is a series of subjects made whole by way of her parents’ shared values. Money is remembered through a pair of serving dishes her parents received as a wedding gift. While one is used solely for food, Cates fondly recalls the other fully utilized by her father as the “bill dish.” Swirling amidst the frugal meals, the scarcity of new clothes and the never-ending wash day is a way of life buoyed by everyone’s attitude of “mend and make do.”
Those later years we all remember. School was the priority, with some years moving at a crawl while others — especially high school — seeming to fly by at the speed of light. Touching it all were the friendships made, the classrooms, lockers and tight hallways, the makeup and dresses, formal attire, prom, graduations and the reunions where the past is again remembered, but this time as adults with clear minds and open hearts.
The turn of the seasons brings familiarity to many living life Down East. Spring is welcomed with memories of Easter colored in pastels, yellow peeps, chocolate rabbits, dress clothes, church and Sunday school. Summer and fall come and go with their own distinct light of memory. The year is suspended in the mind of a child, especially when Christmas arrives and with it the distinct noise of sleigh bells and a grandmother bursting through the door shrieking: “You’ve just missed him!”
In her epilogue, Cates reminds all of us that life contains two primary chapters — childhood and adulthood — each significant, each made possible by the devotion of those that came before us. “In reliving those enduring memories of my childhood and teens, a pattern emerged. I could reconcile the childhood perception through the lens of adult experience. Yes, there was scarcity and sacrifice, but there was also love, security, tenderness, infinite patience, encouragement, integrity and a set of values my parents taught by unwavering example.”
In sharing our yesterdays, we help those that come after to clearly appreciate their tomorrows. “What was it like back then?” is a question we have all asked ourselves. This memoir provides one answer while also leaving the gift of a lasting legacy for both author and her family.
Do not take my word for it. Instead, enjoy a daughter’s response to the gift her mother created. “When my mom placed the very first copy of her newly published book into the hands of the granddaughter whose curiosity inspired its pages, pride doesn’t even begin to cover what I feel watching this moment come full circle. Seeing memories preserved, stories honored and generations connected through her words is something truly special.” — Joanna Cates Liberatore
In whatever we do, whoever we become, there are the stories we carry with us knowingly and some that quietly tag along — like a long, lost friend — waiting for someone to ask the question. This book is a treasure.
“Because She Asked … Memories of a Downeast Childhood”
By Pauline Armstrong Cates
Maine Authors Publishing, 2026 softcover $19.95