The recent death of University of Maine student Dylan Lyford is a tragedy that will be felt for a long time to come. Dylan was a wonderful person. His friends counted on him, his family loved him. Since students who were present the night he died have told us that alcohol was involved, this seems an opportune time for a discussion about the often-neglected topic of alcohol use and young Mainers.
I work in the field of substance abuse prevention with college students, so thinking about the effects of alcohol is common for me. It all starts with students’ expectations of drinking before they arrive at school. Many students come in with expectations that college drinking is a rite of passage. Most high schools do not educate about drinking. Why would they? High school seniors are 18 and the drinking age is 21. Is it their job? If not, whose job is it?
At UMaine we have a comprehensive program to address these issues and usually our efforts work well, but often students arrive from high school with outsized expectations about drinking and with a considerable drinking history already established. Our first job is to say we expect academic excellence unimpeded by the illegal use or misuse of alcohol. Surprisingly, many students are startled by the notion that someone is going to address alcohol use issues with them and ultimately hold them responsible for their behaviors.
Students report that their parents tell them to be safe, don’t drink and drive, and drink responsibly. This is all good advice but how it gets translated by students varies. For some it means don’t drink. For others it forces the question of how does one drink responsibly. Students say they want to talk about alcohol, to know how much is too much. They want and need to know how to help their friends and look out for one another. We need parents, teachers, community members and students themselves to have honest, open and ongoing discussions about alcohol and other drugs long before a problem develops. If we really talk, they will listen, so we all need to start talking now.
We also need to ask how we can convince students that if they choose to drink, they can get hurt or hurt others. How do we get this message to a group of people who believe they are invincible? The social acceptance of excessive and high-risk drinking is becoming an epidemic, which requires effective programs and approaches, along with an ongoing dialogue in every community and home in this state.
We live in a drinking society so instead of making alcohol advertisements the educational standard, let’s educate students on real approaches to avoid alcohol problems. The glamorizing and encouragement of alcohol misuse need to give way to thoughtful approaches to alcohol education including teaching kids life skills early.
Let’s teach them how to be safe and how to help a friend in need. Let’s ask parents to give their children specific expectations and clear guidance about alcohol use. Let’s go beyond the usual approaches to give students more support to navigate a complex world where great temptation lurks.
Please help send a message to the young people of our state that we expect more and that we want them to watch out for and take care of one another. Tell them to call for help when they have the slightest inkling something might be wrong. Ask them to talk to their friends if they are concerned about their drinking, and help them get answers to questions they have about alcohol. A little prevention goes a long way.
Lauri Sidelko is director of the Alcohol and Drug Education Program at the University of Maine.