How long do you want to live? 100?
I know a few mopes who actually talk about the pleasures of dying and the end of their woes, but not many. Most of us want to renew our subscription every year, for just as long as we can.
I am here to help.
Well, me, the British Medical Journal, Boston University School of Medicine and Chianti.
No one wants to listen to the Brits because of Bunker Hill and all that, plus that annoying accent. I know people who have been living here for decades and they still sound more English than David Niven, for God’s sake. They are kind of like the Gabor sisters, hanging on to that fake accent for their whole “careers.”
But I digress.
According to a report in U.S. News and World Report, the British Medical Journal studied 20,000 tea-drinking countrymen and came to the conclusion that you can cut your risk of a stroke by half by simply doing 30 minutes of exercise a day (hey, I could do that), eating five servings of fruits and vegetables each day (ditto) and avoiding cigarettes and excessive use of alcohol.
Define “excessive.”
Let’s try the Bostonians. Dr. Thomas Perls studied centenarians at Boston University. He has assembled a few rules for longer life, possibly to 100. First of all, he thinks we should all live like Seventh Day Adventists. After all, they have an average life expectancy of 89, an entire decade longer than most Americans. (Maybe it just seems 10 years longer. Does that means you have to knock on stranger’s doors for 89 years?) The Seventh Day Adventist lifestyle, if you are interested, has a diet of fruits, vegetables, no abuse of alcohol or tobacco, or even overindulging in sweets, plus plenty of exercise (knocking on stranger’s doors) and a strong focus on family and community.
You may not believe it, but our boy Perls demands flossing every day. He said excess bacteria in the mouth can end up in the bloodstream and trigger inflammation in the arteries, a major risk in heart disease. Who knew?
Other recommendations from Perls include at least six hours of sleep a day (done), a fiber-rich diet of whole foods with minimal bread, flour and sugar, and keeping a strict daily routine, with consistent contact with family (if you have any), plus friends (ditto).
Let that old grudge go if you want to see 100. Centenarians never dwell on their problems and exhibit strong senses of humor, Perls said. “They are great at rolling with the punches,” he said.
Dr. Luigi Ferrucci of the Baltimore Longitudinal Study of Aging told U. S. News and World Report that retirement is a bad idea. Too late. “Evidence shows that in societies when people stop working abruptly, the incidence of obesity (whoops) and chronic disease skyrockets after retirement,” he said. A study of the Chianti area of Italy, which has a surprisingly high percentage of centenarians, disclosed that even when Italians retire from their jobs, they stay very active in their gardens. “They are never really inactive, “ Ferrucci said.
You don’t have to start your own vineyard. Volunteer as a docent at your local library or join the Experience Corps, a program with senior volunteers, he suggested.
Me? I would rather die than work in a garden, which I consider hell on Earth.
But the bottom line, damn it, is exercise, according to Dr. S. Jay Olshansky, a researcher on aging at the University of Illinois. He told U. S. News and World Report that, “Exercise is the only real fountain of youth that exists.”
“It is the oil and lube job for your car,” he said. “You don’t have to do it, but your car will definitely run better and the benefits kick in immediately after your first workout. Those who see the biggest payoffs are the ones who go from doing nothing (hello) to simply walking around the neighborhood or local mall for 30 minutes a day.”
Chianti and I cannot guarantee that following these recommendations can lead to your 100th birthday. But they can improve the rest of your life and that aging, saggy body (sorry).
But joining the Seventh Day Adventists?
I don’t know.
Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.