You cannot put your friend in the pink when he or she receives a pink slip. But there are things you can do to help the newly unemployed feel less blue. The key is to make the person feel less alone, emotionally and practically.
• Phone the person as soon as a few hours after he or she has left the workplace. Avoid questions that may be interpreted as sensation seeking or prying. Instead, express concern and offer to be available 24 hours a day for a phone chat. Even if your friend does not take you up on a middle-of-the-night call, the knowledge that you are available will ease the sleepless nights that often accompany a loss of income. Keep the conversation brief, unless your friend wishes otherwise.
• Make a date to meet for coffee or a meal or a movie, assuring your friend that you insist on paying for the treat. Otherwise, most people who are jobless will have to debate or say “no” to the invitation. A pleasant outing to anticipate is an emotional lifesaver to the newly jobless.
• Invite the person to lunch or dinner at your home. Do not make the first visit a multi-guest dinner party. Make extra servings of the meal and dessert and send them home with your friend.
• If the jobless person has children, invite the kids to play at your house, and offer to baby-sit while your friend takes care of business such as visiting the food pantry and job center.
• If you have a gym membership that provides guest passes, invite your friend to go to the gym with you, using the free pass. Exercise is an excellent salve to a sore heart.
• Whenever possible, do the driving in your own car. Pick up children for play dates, and chauffeur your jobless friend to other outings.
• Loan your friend useful and distracting DVDs and videos, such as exercise programs and entertaining movies.
• Invite your friend to undertake a cooking project with you. Make extra and send some home with your friend.
• Give your friend any freebies you acquire in a buy-one-get-one-free deal.
• Don’t forget the fun factor. Lay off the layoff in conversation, at least some of the time, and enjoy the things you have always enjoyed together.
Five gifts to give the jobless:
We all know the best thing you can give someone who has become unemployed is your shoulder to lean on. But if you can afford to purchase things for them too, here are some items that will not only save the jobless person money but also build a sense of normalcy, security and self-esteem:
• Food, food, food! Groceries or certificates to grocery stores, bakeries, sandwich shops, coffee shops, restaurants.
• Gas cards, taxi certificates, ferry tickets, bus passes. Helping to cover necessary transportation is a huge boon to the unemployed.
• A certificate to the person’s favorite hairdresser or barber. Maintaining one’s appearance is not only vital to retaining self-esteem, but a professional appearance can be crucial to obtaining another job.
• Supplies for infants or elders in the household. From Pampers to Depends, these supplies are expensive necessities.
• Pet food and supplies. Pets are often a huge comfort to the newly jobless, who may in turn worry about providing for their animals.