Today, the state of Maine and the men of B/3-172 Infantry (Mountain) will mourn the loss of two of their brothers-in-arms. Three years ago, convoy 485-T-136A1 left Forward Operating Base Duke traveling to Tallil Air Base, Iraq. After crossing a small bridge, Gun Truck B212 was hit by an explosively formed projectile, or EFP. The EFP had been expertly camouflaged and was impossible to detect. The self-forging warhead killed the driver, SSG Dale Kelly and the gun truck commander, SSG David Veverka. The gunner was seriously injured.
The story of that day is one of heroic action, selfless service and leadership. It is also a day that taught many of us leadership lessons that will last a lifetime. As their company commander, the lesson I learned was that leadership is about people and life is about relationships.
Leadership is about people because at the end of every decision there is a person who has to live with that decision. In December 2005, Dale Kelly, a longtime friend, came into my office and asked if he could leave our deployment training early. I asked why. He said that his daughter had moved up her wedding date to get mar-ried in December, so he could be there to give her away.
The training he would miss was critical training. We had a very short train-up period and every day was important to our combat readiness. I had a decision to make. A decision he and his family would have to live with for the rest of our lives. To me, it seemed that second only to the birth of a daughter, a man’s proudest moment would be to escort her down the aisle on her wedding day. I let him go home.
David Veverka was a student at the University of Maine. He was a wildlife ecology major who had found his passion studying seals. He had committed his academic efforts to publishing a significant paper on the subject and had been accepted to present his work to a conference in California. He asked me if he could miss train-ing to attend this conference and present his paper. He, too, would miss critical training and as a squad leader, his leadership was needed. I’m no academic, but I do know how much work and passion it takes to research, write and defend a thesis. It is a culmination of one’s academic experience and to do it as an undergraduate was impressive. I let him go to California.
I don’t regret making those decisions. The training they missed may or may not have contributed to saving their lives. I will never know the answer to this question nor will their loved ones. I do know that both families and Dave’s professors thanked me for letting the guys miss training on those days. Leadership is about people.
If leadership is about people, then life is about relationships. As a company and Maine’s infantry community, we mourned the death of our brothers in gut-wrenching ways. We mourned with two large extended families, the residents of Maine and Pennsylvania, the University of Maine, the Army and our nation over the loss of Dale Kelly and Dave Veverka. I learned that in the end, the true meaning of life is not tied up in accomplishment. It’s tied to your family, your friends and the people you have met along the way.
If I were twice the man I could be, I would still be half the man Dale and Dave were. Their deaths affected hundreds, maybe thousands of people, who all loved them dearly. In the end, when one is on their deathbed, they don’t call for their trophies, their checkbooks or the medals they’ve earned. They always call for a spouse, family members, their friends and the soldiers they served with. Our trip to Iraq formed some incredible friendships, loyalties and a long list of accomplishments. But, I can say with certainty that the men of Bravo Company would trade every Bronze Star and every Meritorious Service Medal to have Dale and Dave back. Life is about relationships.
On May 6, many of us will pause to remember two great friends, soldiers and patriots. There were many lessons learned on that day, but the dearest lesson was that leadership is about people and life is about relationships.
Maj. Darryl W. Lyon is an assistant professor of military science at the University of Maine.