“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” DVD, Blu-ray: Although Paramount continues its stupid decision of refusing to give screeners to critics who gave negative reviews to the theatrical releases of their movies – as I and many others did with this baby – they can’t stop the press from getting the word out about how bad some of their movies are, so this review is based on the original theatrical review. We are, after all, here to serve you, not them. What director Michael Bay has created is a crowning achievement: the first English-language film that needs subtitles in order to understand it. The movie is a shoo-in for the Razzies: Worst Foreign Language Movie in a Non-Foreign Language. Mirroring the first “Transformers,” this beauty also clocks in at 2 1/2 hours, but unlike the original, you feel every stinking minute of it. What happened along the way? Simple. Whereas the last movie was chaos and fun by way of the machine, this movie is just chaos driving the machine. It’s such a relentless, over-the-top experience, a movie so determined to best the action in the previous film, that the screen can’t contain any of it, and so it just spits it out. Perhaps the best way to understand the experience of watching the movie is to stand in front of a front-loading washing machine. Pack it full with colorful clothing and press start. Colors will begin to whirl, things will start to spin, you’ll recognize glimpses of what you’ve seen before (Shia LaBeouf! Autobots! Decepticons!), and then, if you’ve really overpacked the machine, really stuffed it to its breaking point, it eventually will go off balance and shake the room until your fillings fall out. The end. While nobody will accuse the movie of being light on action, action alone isn’t the only ingredient necessary to pull off a successful action movie. There must be a connection to the characters. There has to be a level of cohesion to the story line. Our best action films aren’t those in which you only are in awe of the special effects, but those that also leave you feeling genuine concern for the survival of the characters you’ve come to admire. On that level, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” fails spectacularly. Grade: PG-13. Grade: D
“Elegy”: Based on Philip Roth’s novella “The Dying Animal,” Isabel Coixet’s “Elegy” is about a May-December romance between two intellectuals, one of whom is 30 years older than the other. If that doesn’t exactly sound like steamy fare to you, fair enough. But should you see the film, be forewarned. This is one liberated movie, though it’s far more than just a sex show. In this case, it’s really about how the effects of age belie that we’re still much like that person we were in our youth. Nobody knows this better than David Kepesh (Ben Kingsley, excellent), a literary lion on the book scene and an esteemed college literature professor at Columbia who once was married, but soon realized that marriage wasn’t for him. David isn’t made for intimacy. He’s a man made for sex, and with a steady supply of that offered to him over the years by women who take his classes, he has had his share of it. One of his former students has been with him 20 years. Her name is Carolyn (Patricia Clarkson). She’s a successful businesswoman, and she is David’s moral equal. She just wants sex. But when into David’s class comes Consuela Castillo (Penelope Cruz), David is struck by her beauty as well as her sophistication. She’s a mystery, this one, and on the spot, he decides that he will have her. The trouble is that now, in spite of possessing such an attractive mind and being in good shape, he worries whether she will have him given how age has allowed a feast of wrinkles to consume his face? The answer is that she will have him, and so begins their affair, which is charged with meaning, fraught with sex – and most startlingly to David – the underpinnings of love. Shame about that part of the equation, because what it causes is nothing but a groundswell of turbulence. Rated R. Grade: A-
“Hawaii Five-O: Seventh Season”: The challenge is obvious – how to make each episode as energetic as Morton Stevens’ iconic theme song? For this seventh season of the long-running series, the good news is that most episodes are. Set in Hawaii, the show finds Jack Lord bringing back the heat and the cool as Steve McGarrett, the pompadoured leader of an elite police team that finds Chin Ho Kelly (Kam Fong) and Danny “Danno” Williams (James McArthur) working to bring down the evil Chinese agent Wo Fat. Among others. Highlights include “The Two-Faced Corpse,” “Right Grave, Wrong Body” and “I’ll Kill ‘Em Again.” With any luck, the show will reprise its run – with an all new cast – should CBS give a green light to the new pilot that is in production. Grade: B+
“Monsoon Wedding: The Criterion Collection”: An arranged marriage in Dehli causes a whirlwind of hysteria that rivals that of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” With the bride already involved with a married man and the groom wanting to date before he rushes down the aisle, what ensues is a monsoon of emotions – Bollywood style. In this special Criterion Collection, look for many extras, including a restored high-definition digital transfer, audio commentary from director Mira Nair, three short documentaries from Nair, as well as four fictional short films, the best of which is 2007’s “Migration.” Rated: R. Grade: A-.
“The William Castle Film Collection”: B-movie bumps in the night. This excellent collection from Sony turns the dial to camp, arrives just in time for Halloween, and features several stand-out horror movies from the 1960s, such as an ax-wielding Joan Crawford as poor Lucy Barbin in the incomparable “Strait-Jacket,” as well as “13 Frightened Girls,” “13 Ghosts,” “Homicidal,” “The Old Dark House,” the hilarious “Mr. Sardonicus,” Vincent Price in “The Tingler” and “Zoltz!” It’s unfortunate that “Macabre” and “The Night Walker” weren’t included, but this otherwise impressive set at least includes an insightful documentary on Castle called “Spine Tingler! The William Castle Story.” Grade: B+
Also on DVD and Blu-ray disc: Several television shows are available, the best of which is the seventh season of “Girlfriends,” a fine option for those seeking an alternative to “Sex and the City.” The show isn’t as daring or as baring (it didn’t, after all, appear on HBO), but its humor is cheeky and it does tackle similar issues, with its four female leads fighting to make it in Los Angeles. Also available is the fine final season of “The L Word,” the first season of the action-drama “Flashpoint,” and the fifth season of the FBI drama “Numb3rs,” which solves crimes with the help of … algebra. On Blu-ray, beware of three colossal wrecks – the horror movie “Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead,” which is suitably titled; the horror movie “The Craft,” which ironically lacks a trace of craft itself; and Kevin Costner’s triumphant flop, “Waterworld.” Saving the week is the terrific Blu-ray release of “Stop Making Sense,” which focuses on the Talking Heads in concert at Hollywood’s Pantages Theater in 1983 (David Byrne was in his prime – and it shows); the DVD and Blu-ray release of “Red Dwarf: Back to Earth”; Tracy Morgan hosting the amusing “Scare Tactics Season Three, Part One: Uncensored and Too Hot for TV”; and Warner’s boxed set of “Peanuts 1970s Collection, Vol. 1,” which includes such memorable shorts as “It’s a Mystery, Charlie Brown,” “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” and “It’s the Easter Beagle,” among others. Finally, don’t miss “TCM Spotlight: Esther Williams Vol. 2,” as it features six Williams films, including “Fiesta,” “Pagan Love Song,” “Easy to Love,” “This Time for Keeps,” “Thrill of Romance” and the best of the lot, “Million Dollar Mermaid.”
WeekinRewind.com is the site for Bangor Daily News film critic Christopher Smith’s blog, DVD giveaways and movie reviews. Smith’s reviews appear Fridays and weekends in Lifestyle, as well as on bangordailynews.com. He may be reached at Christopher@weekinrewind.com.