The recent flap over “grinding” at Bangor High School dances is the latest skirmish in a war that has been waged between adults and teens since adolescence was first identified as that land of the lost between childhood and adulthood. The flappers of the 1920s, the jitterbuggers of the 1940s, the rock ’n’ rollers of the ’50s (the name of the music is actually a euphemism for the sex act), the disco and slam-dancers of the ’70s and the mosh-pit surfers of the ’90s were all intent on one thing — expressing themselves in a way that was unique to their generation. If they also could shock their par-ents, well, that was a bonus.
To the grinders of today, the adult response is this: Mission accomplished.
While this latest dance technique, in which boys rub their crotches against their partners’ buttocks, seems overtly sexual, it is not much more so than other, earlier dances. But none of this means school officials, and those chaperoning school-sanctioned dances, can retire to the teachers’ lounge and drink coffee when the lights are low and the music loud.
We rely on adults at school dances and other functions to draw the line — repeatedly, as needed — between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Is that line subjective? Of course it is. So where should it be drawn?
The more liberal and lenient parents may want the teens to be left to make their own decisions on such matters, within reason. The strict and prudish parents may object if a dictionary can’t be slid between two bodies of opposite sexes. As the Supreme Court famously ruled about pornography, in-appropriate, “dirty” dancing may not be easily defined, but adults know it when they see it. And if they must choose one parental set of standards over another, it should be the more strict.
The counterarguments to the ban on grinding are familiar but irrelevant — yes, teens may do more in the back seat of their car, but as long as the dance is sanctioned by the school, parents have the right to expect that a certain level of decorum will be maintained.
School principals and teachers struggle with challenges to their authority daily, whether it is over inappropriate displays of affection between students, clothes that are too revealing or language in the hallways that is offensive. And they have the tools to maintain order — detention, suspension and more. At a school dance when agreed-upon standards are breached, the music should cease, the lights should go up, and the supervising adult should issue the final warning. If the inappropriate behavior continues — grinding, or whatever dance craze is in vogue next year — the dance ends.
Bangor High School staff and students seem to have figured this out, so boogie — but don’t grind — on.