Recently, I came across an alarming Discovery Channel documentary about children who kill. One of the many children documented was a teen who conspired with a friend to kill his father for life insurance money. Out of all the cases, this was the most difficult to watch.
What disturbed me the most was the fact that this was not committed out of retaliation or revenge due to years of severe abuse (as is most often the excuse), nor was it self-defense. In addition, this was not a mentally ill or dangerously antisocial child. This was an outgoing, privileged child who was conniving, calculative and repulsively selfish. His only motive was greed. This is, sadly, becoming increasingly common.
Needless to say, I shook from within. I was appalled and grief-stricken. I couldn’t fathom how meticulously planned the crime was. I couldn’t swallow how heartless and immoral this child was. What is this world coming to? Mind you, I am not naive to the evil, sociopaths and psychos out there. Nevertheless, such a cruel, senseless atrocity against a parent is absolutely incomprehensible to me.
My thoughts immediately shifted to my own parents and how I would do anything for either one. My eyes swelled with tears at the mere thought of something bad, God forbid, ever happening to them. My immense love, respect, adoration and admiration for them are inexpressible.
I always find myself indebted to my parents for providing me with all my physical, educational, psychological, emotional, moral and religious needs. Although I know I will never be able to repay them fully, I make sure to show the utmost kindness, respect and obedience to them. Not only are they highly deserving of this, but it is also my duty and obligation in front of God.
Almost every religion and culture has given parents this honorable status. Despite this, we always hear of individuals in today’s society who mistreat their elderly parents or complain of their parents financially “burdening” them. Even worse, according to the documentary, more than 300 parents are killed each year by their own children. In many of these cases, the lack of morality is the only missing piece.
The parent-child code of behavior in Islam is highly significant because rules were laid down by divine command. References to parents have been made at least 15 times in the Holy Quran:
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years — give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.” (31:14)
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor reprimand them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’” (17:23-24)
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was asked: “Messenger of Allah, which of the deeds (takes one) nearer to Paradise? He (the Holy Prophet) replied: Prayer at its proper time, I said: What next, Messenger of Allah? He replied: Kindness to parents. I said: What next? He replied: Strive in the cause of Allah.”
Therefore, the love of God and the love of our parents go hand in hand. Gratitude to God is incomplete without showing gratitude to one’s parents. Indeed, I take care of my parents out of love, loyalty and devotion to them. However, I am abiding by what God has ordered, pleasing Him, and earning heavenly rewards for it, as well.
As parents of three young children, my husband and I constantly pray that God protects and guides them on the right path. We pray that they may one day adhere to and apply these moral principles that we have taught them and take care of us when we have aged, as we have with our own parents. I also hope that they are loving, kind and respectful to us, not only to please us, but most importantly, for the sake, pleasure and love of God.
Marwa Elkelani, who has her Master’s Degree in TESL/Linguistics from Oklahoma State University and is a graduate student at the University of Maine, resides in Brewer with her husband and three young children.