No matter how old you are, some day you will have to decide how to spend the rest of your life. For many, living at home is the best option, but it will take planning and preparation.
The feminist Betty Friedan published a book on aging, called “The Fountain of Age.” She noticed that gerontologists had been going to nursing homes to study older people. She decided that was wrong. Nursing homes were places for dying. Instead, she interviewed people who continued to live at home and remained active and productive.
Staying home may not be practical for people who are incapacitated by accident or disease and need continual health care, leaving nursing homes and assisted living communities as the only options. Fear of falling is another motivation for choosing an institution. Such institutions can be extremely expensive, however. Some customers find that they cost $125,000 per year, or more with extra nursing care.
Many couples, concerned or even panicked by questions of what could happen to them in their waning years, find comfort in what they are led to believe will see them through to the end. They pay a hefty entry fee for a senior community and a monthly charge and expect to have no further worries. They often sell their homes to pay these charges, although the current real estate slump makes this less practical.
Aging at home can be expensive, too, but various social service agencies can supply health care, household assistance, meals and transportation at reasonable cost.
Planning ahead is essential. Some people have had the foresight to select a house with an easy, level approach and a sleeping room and bathroom on the ground floor. You should install handholds in tubs and showers. Stairs are a hazard, and home elevators, though expensive, may be worth the cash if the alternative is an institution.
Community organizations can be a big help. On Mount Desert Island, for example, Mount Desert Nursing Organization’s staff of registered nurses provides emergency and routine care for the homebound and preventive care. Also, Island Connections’ volunteers can drive seniors to medical appointments and grocery shopping. Similar private and volunteer organizations serve other parts of Maine.
An elders’ line is available every weekday throughout the state at 877-ELDERS1, with live people on hand rather than voice-mail systems that many callers find annoying. This one-stop service can connect a caller with the Eastern Area Agency on Aging, which serves Penobscot, Piscataquis, Hancock and Washington counties. The agency can steer callers to sources of help for health care, transportation, personal care and meals.
The help is there. Just ask for it, and be prepared.