The path life takes us along is a most unsure one, with many twists and turns.
But, for some unknown reason we believe it will follow a certain, set pattern which, if it did, would mean parents outlive their children.
We expect to bury the elders of our families first, and to have our children bury us.
For the majority of us, that is the way it works out.
But for others, that is not to be, and parents are left behind to face the future with memories of a child’s life cut short before it would seem to have been fully lived.
Last week I had the honor of speaking with Jane Zimmerman of Smyrna, mother of U.S. Marine 1st. Lt. James Zimmerman who was 25 when he was killed in action Nov. 2, 2010, in Afghanistan.
Jane is a remarkable woman who, I came quickly to understand, has been able to face this most difficult life experience with a dignity and grace imbued in her spirit by a strong and unwavering faith in God.
And while some of us might believe James’ life was cut short and he died too soon, I gather from talking with Jane that she and her family understand, because of who James was, and how he chose to serve his fellow man, his time with them was what it could and should have been.
On behalf of their family, which includes James’ wife, Dr. Lynel Winters of Richlands, N.C., his sister and brother-in-law, Meg and Nate Foster of Hodgdon, and his brother Christian Zimmerman of Montgomery, Texas, Jane and Tom Zimmerman have written a letter which, Jane told me, has been published in the Houlton Pioneer Times and her hometown paper, The Enterprise in Brockton, Mass.
To “Dearest Family and Friends,” the couple wrote, “we had no idea how big our family is; how many lives James’ life touched. Thank you!
“We are overwhelmed with your love and so grateful for the FIRM hold you have had on us. Thank you for ‘BEING,’ for holding up the world for us!
“This time of our ‘stepping aside’ in ‘O so deep sadness,’ has been essential for us to rearrange our lives to be able to live here without James.
“The 600-plus cards, gifts, books, food, calls, texts, emails, letters, newspaper reports [are] all medicine for our souls. Thank you.”
The family is “bound together by James’ loving memories,” they wrote.
“We are forever changed, but ‘good to go’ to continue our course of serving the Master. Again and again, THANK YOU.”
The letter continues with the description of “an overwhelming flurry of events” surrounding James’ death, “from the Dignified Transfer in Dover, Delaware, to the Veterans Day funeral” in Houlton, “to the Arlington Cemetery ceremony, to the January 21 Memorial service at Camp LeJeune, N.C.,” where the family ”finally met his men, face-to-face, and heard of the powerful bond they shared” with him.
“We knew James loved them, and heard of their love for him,” the Zimmermans wrote.
“We heard of the respect they and the other officers had” for James “as a man; as a warrior.”
“We heard of his final days and his final brave fight” and how it “was the beginning of the demise of the Taliban in Marjah, now secure.”
And while these “memorials to our son’s life” might not “assuage the grief” of this family, knowing his “25 years made a lasting difference is a comfort,” they wrote.
The family thanks everyone for reaching out to them, and asks, as you did for James, to “continue to line the streets in support of those who grieve.”
The Zimmermans’ journey with their son’s caravan these past several months has taken them on many roads.
On that long journey from Delaware to Maine to North Carolina to Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia, you were there for them: Standing by, silently, strongly, to support them.
“He couldn’t have been any more honored than if he was the President of the United States,” Jane told me, in grateful appreciation for your recognition of one who gave his life for his country.
Joni Averill, Bangor Daily News, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor 04402; javerill@bangordailynews.com; 990-8288.