FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — A spat over forgetting to wish his wife a happy birthday landed a South Florida man in jail on domestic violence charges.
When Judge “Jay” Hurley heard the circumstances that brought 47-year-old Joseph Bray to bond court Tuesday, he issued a unique ruling.
Hurley ordered Bray to buy a birthday card and flowers for his wife before taking her to dinner at Red Lobster and bowling afterward. Hurley ruled the couple should begin seeing a marriage counselor immediately.
The South Florida Sun Sentinel reports Hurley felt this was a “better resolution” since the incident was minor and Bray had no prior arrests. Bray’s wife told the judge she’s not afraid of her husband.
A police report indicates Bray pushed his wife during an argument but never hit her.
I’ll remember this , when my birthday comes around. Flowers ( nope, I want a new tie), fine dining, card with some money, and a movie sounds good though.
The judge is sexist pig. He just took the domestic violence awareness campaign back to the dark ages.
Shame. Boo. Hiss.
Sounds like the judge wasn’t an over-reacting fool and has sent domestic violence “charges” out into the light of day. Do you think there is a difference between pushing away someone in your face and violently assaulting them?
Just walk away if someone is ‘in your face’.
I don’t think there is ever a reason to lay hands on someone…push, shove…whatever.
sure if you want a knife in your back…get a clue. No ALL men are suspect. They can be victims also
you seem to want my approval for hitting a woman.
not. gonna. happen.
If a woman hits a man, why can’t he hit her back? That would be equality, right? why should a man just let a woman hit him without retaliating? Just curious.
cuz two wrongs don’t make a right.
no offense but sounds to me like the judge isn’t the one being sexist here, you are… your saying it’s okay for a woman to hit a man, but never okay for man to hit woman? how is that fair?? now don’t get me wrong, i think Domestic violence is wrong. but EVERYONE has the right to defend them selves… and by defending your self i mean exactly that, defending your self, not assaulting them, but restraining them or removing your self from the situation…but to say it’s okay for a woman to hit a man, but “2 wrongs don’t make a right” is your comment to a man hitting a woman BACK; is in every sense of the word, sexist
NO.
the article reads that there was domestic abuse, he was arrested and charged.
if she had hit him it would also be domestic abuse and she would have arrested and charged.
i disagree.
there was no domestic abuse.
the physicality has to rise above a certain threshold for a crime to be committed.
that did not happen.
no more than if he had given her the silent treatment, or given her a cold stare, and if she had alleged mental anguish
sometimes pushing and touching are not crimes or abuse
Subtract one ‘Like’. Your synopsis is incorrect. The standard of review is in the eyes of the beholder, like beauty and fairness. That’s why the judge wanted to determine if she was ‘afraid’ of her husband. It’s one criteria used to successfully file a restraining order. If you so much as grab someone in an aggressive manner such that it causes ‘fear’, that is considered ‘assault’ and/or ‘threatening behavior’.
And, btw, any man who pushes a woman has the potential of escalating to violence. That’s usually how it starts.
then why didn’t the judge dismiss the charges?
Not necessarily. She might have been considered as acting in self defense, in this case.
If she was the aggressor he might have been acting in self defense.
We agree. The lesson is if you’re going to have an argument, walk away before you strike your spouse. That’ goes for both genders.
exactly right. thank you.
LOL
And you seem to think that it is ok for women to assault the man and want everyone’s approval. Get over yourself and realize that men are victims too. EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE has a boiling point
I don’t say that at all.
The article that I read said that he didn’t hit her. The judge obviously heard the argument from both sides and made a decision that it was not right to order this man to go to jail. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not condoning violence, but if the judge made a decision, and the wife was fine with it, then why ruin a mans record for a minor incident (their words, not mine) A friend of ours was arrested for domestic violence for throwing a grape down on the table…it bounced and hit his wife. When she called the police to calm the situation, they ended up arresting him…even though he did not hit her. This is now permanently on his record…..Sometimes judges over react and this time, the judge decided that this was not big enough to ruin this mans record. Sometimes a judge just has to do the right thing, and in this case…it sounds like he did.
He should have dismissed the charges if he thought the man was not guilty.
Why get in someones face ?
???
are you trying to justify hitting someone?
Finally a judge with some common sense …………………… (I know I’ll get some flak for saying this)
consider yourself flakked.
:(
I agree some men abuse woman. You also must see some woman work the system. I never hit a woman in my life. Been hit many times by woman till I learned to not fall for the damsel In distress .
I think the point is…. no one should be hitting anyone….period.
No, I agree. Given that the spat was over him forgetting to wish her a happy birthday I assume both parties were acting aggressive towards each other, that still doesn’t excuse the fighting or the pushing in the first place. Instead of just saying “Well, you’re the man in this situation, you’re in jail by default” the judge actually considered the facts and decided to hand down a sentence that is giving the couple a chance to solve the problem, trying marriage counseling. Sure they may be stubborn or too prideful to actually make an effort, but to me this seems better than just tossing him in jail and letting resentment build on both sides.
why was the judicial system called in, in the first place?
that is absurd
a judge with any sense would not have heard the case
In retrospect, yes, it was absurd but hindsight is always 20/20. Sadly with all the real abuse that people suffer at the hands of their partners each case needs be considered, just in case; there’s too many very real stories of domestic abuse victims falling through the cracks from cases not being taken seriously.
thank you Brandon.
<3
Unfortunately the wife probably told the police he pushed her not realizing it results in automatic domestic violence charge and an arrest. That is now the norm in most places.
as it should be.
Based on your reply I realized my comment sounded like it should not be. I truly agree with you. I should have worded my comment more appropriately-thanks
i thought you were clear. thanks for commenting. i’m getting shredded on here today.
Sound like the judge was real about what happened. Domestic violent exist but all to many times its made up neighbors call cops because people are arguing woman tell the cop how mean guy was he gets arrested trying to defend himself lol.
too many times the cops show up at the door and leave and then the woman ends up dead. funny how many guys are on here applauding leniency for domestic violence.
sad.
A long time ago I was in a bad relationship . My girlfriend came back after a week (with my car) and stole the last of my money. I took the plates off the car and she called the police. I was arrested. She latter went to the DA admitted she lie to the popo. Still did not matter . i fought my case and won just did not get my car back. The police gave her the plates back lol . I wanted my car back someone helped her steal it lol. It Is not always the man that is the bad guy. More often than not it is the man that is arrested. It is politically correct to get 100% conviction rates Guilt does not matter. Yes some men abuse woman a lot of domestic cases are not the ones of the man being an abuser. Spoiled women who Know how to work the system . Like I said the DA dose not care about guilt some judges are fair.
I feel your pain, I had an ex bf that took me for every penny I had. There are some spoiled men out there too, ya know.
But I don’t see you making an excuse for domestic violence. ‘Going to dinner’ is not an appropriate sentence for domestic violence. It insults every victim of real domestic violence, male or female.
You said, ” It insults every victim of real domestic violence, male or female,” about a judge’s order for a man to take his wife out to dinner. I say, so does a false report of DV.
When there is a news article about false reporting of domestic abuse, I will join you in agreement.
Oh boy, let me find you something.
what are you saying? that its okay to hit someone?
I am sure there are plenty of cases of false reporting…but that ‘s not what happened here. The judge did not dismiss the charges or find him innocent. He found him guilty and then sentenced him to dinner and a movie.
You know, I know who you are and I’m not gonna bother to waste my time. I’ll just leave this link and you can decide if you want to change, or not. I’ll know in the future what your decision was. The link:
http://www.mediaradar.org/press_release_20070129.php
. . . and nowhere will you ever find me saying it is OK, or acceptable for anyone to ever hit a member of your family. NEVER!!! You suggested that I’m okay with hitting. It’s your single trak mind that is troubling you.
From the Center for Disease Control regarding domestic violence:
-Nearly 3 out of 10 women and 1 out of 10 men have experienced ‘intimate partner violence’-2,340 deaths occurred in 2007 due to intimate partner violence. 70% were women.
Of course men experience domestic violence, but that doesn’t mean women do not.
Of course there is false reporting, but that doesn’t mean we should assume all reports are false.
you seem to take this very personally. and are pretty aggressive in your response. pair that up with your diminution of domestic violence and “I know who you are”, too.
I agree Jeff. Sounds like she overreacted and got herself a nice court appointed dinner.
Let me guess…you work for Spruce Run? False reporting of DA happens all the time. Some women know that they can use the legal system as a baseball bat. And they dont hesitate to swing.
No. I don’t work for Spruce Run.
Well since 7 out of 10 deaths from domestic violence are women, I assume the legal system is not the only baseball bat being swung around.
Woman almost never get charged with false report even when it happens.
do you have data to support that? or is this just something you’re feeling?
You should change your name to Chicken Little. Just saying….
If the only way you can make a point is to insult someone, you probably don’t comprehend the subject matter, or are inept at expressing yourself.
good day.
Yes folks, tax dollars at work!
There seems to be a way to make up those tax dollars. He ordered him to take her to Red Lobster. He can sell the next sentencing to a restaurant that makes the highest bid. He can also direct them to the highest bidding florist and bowling alley.
What would rather see our (this is in Florida, by the way) tax dollars go towards? Dinner and marriage counseling to possibly resolve issues and prevent further problems, or having to feed, clothe, and house him for a jail stay? This sentence seems a bit more cost effective.
Why is this news…wgaf?
Ridiculous. You can throw your wife around and your punishment is to buy her dinner? What year is this?
A single shove in a heated argument isn’t “throwing” someone around. It’s not justified at all, no one should be pushing anyone around, but did you really read the article? a) He has no record of any crimes b) She said she wasn’t afraid of him c) I highly doubt that’s a lie, since if she was being abused I doubt she would confront him about her birthday d) It wasn’t just the dinner, they have to go to counselling as well. I know domestic violence is never ok, it really angers me when a man truly abuses a woman (and no, I don’t have some unrealistically high threshold of what I consider abuse) but people really do need to slow down and consider the real facts in any case.
…..
Ordered to take his wife to Red Lobster and bowling…Yeah, this marriage is as solid as they come.
This judge should be in Maine, I think he has a good sense of humor. Wouldn’t it be great if all court cases were this clear cut.
….
Flamboyant waste of the courts time and money, Isn’t there more pressing matters to rule on?.
My opinion is the judge ruled on the info, and the situation at hand.
I like his ruling.
Not a waste of money at all. Other thant they actually had to go to court to begin with, and the arresting officer couldnt figure just to seperate them for the night in the first place.
The real waste would have been to put him on probation, or send him to jail, or to cost the sytem more money.
Everyone, man or woman, respect each others boundry,be polite, and dont push those buttons with each other.