Racism did not end the day Rosa Parks stood her ground on that bus in Montgomery, Ala., in 1955 nor when Martin Luther King made his “I Have A Dream” speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in 1963.
Chauvinism didn’t end when women got the right to vote in 1920 or when Title IX was passed by Congress in 1972.
But each event chipped away at what was the normal of our time and set us on the course to our new normal. Those things exist now but on a much smaller scale and they certainly are far less tolerated.
“The Greatest Generation” wasn’t that just for its courage during World War II. They got a lot of good things done. They changed this country’s “normal” over and over again.
But there is much left to be done and it is our turn.
I’m sure most people don’t consider the sexual molestation of a child as “normal” but when you consider the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that one in six boys and one in four girls are sexually abused and other research estimates that about 300,000 youngsters are sexually abused in the United States each year — well, it’s far from exceptional.
And considering how many of such cases never are reported but are buried deep in the closets of homes across this country, then that CDC figure may be remarkably conservative.
What has been splayed across the headlines of newspapers across this country regarding the Penn State and Jerry Sandusky molestation case is important, of course. Horrifying certainly.
But shocking?
Why? Because Joe Paterno, college president Graham Spanier, vice president Gary Schultz and athletic director Tim Curley turned their backs to it? Because they didn’t do anything about it? Because they showed no empathy for the little boys Sandusky raped? Because they buried it? Because they covered for one of their own?
Shocking? Really?
Hell, we’ve been turning our backs for generations. You know, the “weird” uncles, brothers and cousins who might have been whispered about but never in polite company and never held responsible. Just watched over a bit more at family gatherings perhaps when the youngsters were around.
What do we suppose they were doing when we weren’t watching?
And if we don’t see it firsthand and if no one talks about such despicable things then surely it is much easier to just go about our business.
Thirty percent of molested children are abused by a family member, according to the American Psychological Association. Sixty percent by an adult outside the family, but whom they know: a neighbor, teacher or family friend.
Only 10 percent are molested by a stranger.
A janitor at Penn State claims to have actually seen Sandusky performing a sex act on a little boy and said nothing.
Paterno would have had his job, he says in his defense. It would have been like going up against the president of the United States, he told investigators.
Graduate student and assistant football coach Mike McQueary saw Sandusky raping a boy in the shower.
He claims he was flustered at the sight. Well, one would think so. But what he did was turn his back, leaving the room and the boy behind with Sandusky.
He did tell Paterno and eventually the athletic director and the school vice president and president.
Some praise him for doing that and really don’t seem to blame him for not doing anything further. I mean, he could have lost his job if he pushed it too far. He was being a good soldier.
Why go to the police when he had gone to Paterno?
Why? Because he saw Sandusky sexually assaulting a little boy. Because for the next decade Sandusky continued to have full access to Penn State’s football program, including the showers where he continued to bring little boys to molest.
McQueary wasn’t comfortable with Sandusky, so he said for the next 10 years he would leave a room if Sandusky came in.
Take that.
But really that’s what most of us want to do, isn’t it? Leave the room, leave the damage, the embarrassment and the messiness behind. Let the victims slowly and quietly find their way to the closet.
Sexual molestation of children will not stop because of what has occurred at Penn State.
But it is time that our generation put us on a new course.
If you don’t do something to stop sexual abuse of children, if you don’t tell — again and again if you must — then you are accepting it.
You are condoning it. You are part of the problem and a contributor to those sad statistics.
You might as well, just as McQueary did, turn and leave that little naked boy in the shower with Jerry Sandusky.
well said, renee
yep, why are we shocked?
Beautiful, Renee. When the institution (be it Penn State or the Catholic Church) becomes more important than the welfare of a child, we have a problem.
Please do not lump institutions or persons together. The MAJORITY of priests in the Church are good. In fact the Church has a law against those with homosexual tendencies (and the majority of abuse scandals were homosexual in nature) to enter the priesthood. So those who did, either thought they were able to control themselves and take vows OR they intentionally betrayed the Church and used it to find victims. Either way, the Church was betrayed and its members and it does not negate the Sacraments in the Church or the good that the Church has done throughout the centuries. Evil men may come and go and use the Church but the Church itself is not bad. The MAJORITY of charity in the world (hospitals, schools, orphanages, welfare system) came from the Catholic Church. As a victim of abuse myself (offender was a non-practicing protestant), I sympathize with any victim of abuse, however, I also know many wonderful, good religious who truly love Jesus and do good for Him. Mother Teresa is a good example of this. She is gone now but her example is what the Church represents and there are many other Mother Teresa’s out there still doing good.
I completely agree and I didn’t do that. The problem is that SOME of the leadership of both institutions (Penn State and the Catholic Church) put the institution before the abused children by hiding the facts and protecting the perpetrators. I am well aware of the good works of the Catholic Church, and I am sure there are some wonderful people working in athletics at Penn State. But both institutions perpetuated a policy of cover up that hurt children over many years. That was my only point.
And, what about the case of the not so reverend Bob Carlson? Are we ever going to find out the truth?
Was he a front for a ring of child molesters and there are too many uncomfortable with revealing the truth? If that is the case, the people of the area need to know the truth–his suicide did take place soon after the Sandusky investigation came out, didn’t it?
The timing of the two incidents is concerning.
It’s interesting how Ordway says absolutely nothing about Carlson’s case. We know from an earlier column that she had a friendly relationship with Carlson.
The cover-up at Penn State had nothing to do with sexual abuse of kids. It had to do with a “protect our own” mentality and the mentality that people we know or revere couldn’t possibly be guilty of doing such a heinous thing — or anything heinous. Parents are adamant that their child could never be guilty of cheating in school. Parents are adamant that their child isn’t having sex or drinking.
That’s what it’s about — believing that the evidence for any bad deed can’t be true because, well, we KNOW this person. We TRUST this person.
Sexual assaults of children just so happened to be the subject the powers that be at Penn State were in denial about.
I’m unsure why she would need to mention the Carlson case in this instance. And her openness about her relationship with Mr. Carlson and how it has affected her was very brave in my view. She could have pretended never to have known him. Instead we got an interesting insight into how these situations impact all the people around us, and that some people we trust are not worthy of it.
Paterno’s dead and don’t doubt there weren’t some HUGE sighs of relief at PS when their stalling on these cases made sure that JP would die without answering any questions.The BDN buried this week’s report in the sports section-WHY?It is not a sports story.
Carlson took what used to be called the coward’s way out-and one that many religions frown upon and (at least some years ago)wouldn’t allow services for a suicide.
At least Sandusky will never see daylight again.I still think his wife and lots of others at PS were complicit.There’s been plenty of time to synchronize stories and destroy evidence.
He got jail time which is more than the thousands of priests and members of the hierarchy did.Carlson,Law,Weakland,Sandusky and more are all snakes in the same fetid pool of slime.
Remember the “Lawrence” case up in old town? You don’t need to leave Penobscot County to find a scandal.
Excellent, Renee! We need to do a better job of protecting children. Take responsibility. Don’t assume someone else will.
From the article: A janitor at Penn State claims to have actually seen Sandusky performing a sex act on a little boy and said nothing.
Paterno would have had his job, he says in his defense. It would have been like going up against the president of the United States, he told investigators.
Had his job? You could have had his face hitting your fist. How any man could witness such a thing and not intervene is beyond me. Go ahead and fire me but I would make sure everyone knew what took place. The janitor is no better than Paterno for not reporting it.
He was worried about his job but didn’t give a rats backside about the young boy being molested. Nice values you had Mr. Janitor.
All I can do is at this point is shake my head because it takes a huge coward to walk away and never report such an incident.
McQueary DID report it,possibly thinking that his report would be followed up on.That might’ve been naive.
I won’t excuse the janitor’s conduct BUT what about all the rich little PS students who demonstrated and cried about how JP was so maligned?The only people who deserve note at the beginning of this mess is a small group of mostly female PS students who held a candlelight vigil/fundraiser for the victims.For that,they were threatened,spat upon and water was thrown at them to douse the candles.Real classy.
It would be helpful to the public if you were to explore more deeply the dynamics of power that keep persons from believing and/or reporting abuses of power, whether they are financial, sexual, or psychological. Just telling persons to report abuse does not go far enough. Whether it be the janitor who saw and never said anything because he feared losing his job, to the parishioner who thought the pastor’s funky hand-slapping games with young boys were not OK but feared he/she would be chastised for ‘judging’ the pastor and acting ‘unChristianlike’ and be made to feel dumb or the focus of institutional gossip (churches are institutions like Penn State), the real issue here is helping persons understand they dynamics of power, and what can go wrong when persons in position of power ‘pervert’ it and manipulate/exploit vulnerable persons – adults included – to get their distorted need for power and control met. This includes the dynamics of secret-keeping (vs. confidentiality, which are strikingly different) and how values are placed on such dynamics at a subconscious level to the extent persons may not even understand why they turn away, or dismiss, what they have seen/heard.
Persons do not come forward with reporting abuse for many reasons, most having to do with some sort of personal ‘need’…the need to keep a job, be accepted within the peer group, fear of ‘rocking the boat’, etc. Laws that protect whistleblowers are present in our society, yet still many persons fear retribution and/or reprisal and do not report abuses of power.
I hope you will continue to explore this subject, Renee. The dynamics of power and control are very complex, maybe too complex for this column. However, maybe the newspaper itself can tackle this with a series of articles with guidance by experts in this subject.
Here you go Saint Renee.
What happens when you report sexual, physical, emotional abuse of institutionalized children to D.H.H.S. The Sheriff’s Department, Your boss, and the kid’s parents and all that occurs is that you loose your job, and have to move to another State to find another. What if it happens again, in the new State and people still do nothing?
How much attention would the B.D.N. give to the story from a “disgruntled ex-employee?”
You do not have to drive to Pennsylvania to find child abuse.
We need to do what’s right, no matter what the consequences. The Bible says that if a man knows to do right, and doesn’t do it, to him it is SIN. If you conceal the abuse of a child, the disabled, the elderly, the less fortunate, and could do something but choose to do nothing or less than what you could have done, it is like you consented or participated in the act!!!
The bible is a book for a simpler time. It has almost NO relevance today.
If you “do good” for someone else, loose your home car and food budget so you can no longer feed, clothe, and house your own children what have you accomplished except moving “bad” from outside your door to inside?
“What’s right” for me is putting my family first. If everyone did that there would be no abuse to report.
This is a great article and needs to be said over and over again. S…xual abuse has long been ignored and tolerated by a silent majority in this country. I was a victim of abuse and when I told a “trusted” adult about it, they told me to be quiet and never speak of it again. Worse, this happened in high school and my grades plunged and I developed an eating disorder and was suicidal, but apparently all of those signs (starving body, dropped grades and depression) were not enough for teachers to even take notice or care. I ended up dropping out of school with only 2 wks left because I was so depressed. Society in general doesn’t know the signs or doesn’t care to acknowledge them so education and awareness is KEY to stopping abuse. Plus laws need to change so that offenders can be taken to court long after the statue of limitations (which are excessively short) and punishments need to be severe. Child abuse offenders usually REPEAT their crimes, so letting them out of jail early should not be allowed.
Penn State is like any other university. Look at UMO. They won’t admit to all the alcohol and drug abuse on campus.
All that is said about protecting the Child i agree with, and wish more parents would. However a very important question comes to mind, Why is Man no longer satisfied with that which God has provided? The answer is, that they are no longer the same, and this has a direct bearing upon today’s moral decay. To prove a point, lets sell a couple of car tires, and have a good looking girl, with very little on promote them. This goes on daily in all known media, some even put naked girls on display to promote their wares. while most people look the other way.
This must stop, or, enjoy the ride to hell.