There is no doubt in my mind that real men do not use beer can koozies, at least not in public.

However, some men may in the privacy of their own man caves want to protect their prized possessions from can sweat, such as the green felt surface of the pool table or the top of the coffee table handcrafted from old boards rescued from a vintage barn.

If that’s the case, there are many can koozie options available in stores, most bearing sports logos. But for a homemade, and, I might add, discreet touch, it will be necessary to enlist girlfriends, wives and mothers in knitting or crocheting can koozies. Contrary to popular belief, women can be sworn to secrecy if the request is made in such a way that they think it’s purely a work of love in service to the preservation of furniture. Only you will know if there’s more to it than that. Just saying …

I’ve given a lot of thought to this idea, prompted by BDN Maine blogger Chad Lothian of “If My Coaster Could Talk” fame at

Recently, I went on a mission to see what might work in terms of yarn. I eliminated acrylic yarn immediately because it doesn’t readily absorb moisture. True, it comes in blaze orange and that was definitely in its favor, but …

That pretty much left cotton, which, in my opinion is a very manly fiber, when you stop and think about it. Most of the men I know are clothed from inside out, head to foot, in cotton.

I searched for yarn in camouflage colors, which I could not find, so I ended up choosing cotton yarn the color of mud, shading from a pale baked earth color to a reddish brown duller than rust to a dark brown that reminds me of clods of dirt tracked in after a session of intense worm digging.

Here are the instructions for knitting the koozie:

Materials needed: One 2-ounce skein of Peaches and Cream cotton yarn in the color Good Earth.

One pair of U.S. size 7 knitting needles.

Cast on 16 stitches.

Row 1: Knit across.

Knit each row until piece measures 8½ inches.

Bind off. Sew the two short sides together.

Install the koozie around a can of brew — home or otherwise.

Crocheted koozie instructions:

Materials needed: One 2-ounce skein of Peaches and Cream cotton yarn in the color Good Earth.

One U.S. size H crochet hook.

Chain 14.

Row 1: Sc in second chain stitch from hook and in each chain across. Ch. 1. Turn.

Row: 2: Sc in first sc and in each chain across. Ch 1. Turn.

Repeat Row 2 until piece measures 8½ inches.

End off. Sew the two short ends together.

Install the koozie around a cold can — or bottle — of your favorite brew.

After I finished making both versions of the koozie, I had this amazing insight. I realized the koozie can double as a wrist band — so if one of your buddies shows up unannounced, and you really don’t want to hear his comments about the koozie around your can, you can discreetly slip it over your hand and onto your wrist before he even gets to the doorstep. The koozie will be covered by your sleeve and he won’t suspect a thing. Added value? Wear one on the other wrist at all times and if you ever need a can koozie in a hurry, you’ll have one.


Quilts by the Bay, sponsored by Friendship Sampler Quilts of Belfast, a chapter of Pine Tree Quilters Guild, will be held 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Friday and Saturday, Oct. 18-19, at the Boat House, 34 Commercial St. The event will feature raffles, vendors, refreshments and door prizes. Admission is $4.

Call Ardeana Hamlin at 990-8153 or email Don’t forget to visit her blog at