My worst fears have materialized — and at the same time my prediction came true. This is one occasion when I didn’t want to be right, however.
After unprecedented attention on the national level this past summer, domestic violence once again has faded from the headlines and been relegated to the “old news” category, only to be resurrected after the next tragedy.
I really thought we made it this time. For domestic violence to be the lead story on the national news for as long as it was and to drag in factions of our society that had yet to embrace this cause was what we had been hoping for some time.
Yes, I thought we reached the previously unattainable attention level and, in fact, we did break new ground with the attention paid to sectors of society previously immune from scrutiny. I thought the spotlight finally illuminated this societal scourge to the point at which everyone was talking about it and not just the advocates, police and victims.
I understand that network news outlets are in the business of broadcasting current and breaking events and, yes, the story of football players abusing their partners is not new, but can we at least keep the conversation going? I have stated and written many times that we are an event-driven society. It is far too easy to be taken in by the tragedies and scandals of the day. In recent months, we faced the added distraction of being in an election season, during which we were inundated with mind-numbing campaign ads. The real world is somewhere between the Ebola outbreak and the empty promises of candidates.
What will it take for domestic violence to stay in people’s consciousness? Many people are working diligently to ensure it does, but the competition is tough.
Were you aware that October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month? Probably not. I will bet you have heard or seen something that indicated it was Breast Cancer Awareness Month, though. I applaud the manner and intensity by which those passionate about breast cancer research and prevention have marketed their cause. Pink is everywhere.
Have you seen any purple? Probably not. Purple is the color designated as the color for domestic violence. Ironically, if you watched any professional football games during the month of October, you saw the players wearing pink gloves, socks and other accessories in support of breast cancer awareness, but no purple. The institution that single-handedly put domestic violence into the headlines, albeit for a short time, did not recognize Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
What does that tell us?
A couple of thoughts come to mind, but the most significant is that we — those in the domestic violence battle — should consider moving our awareness month far away from Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That awareness effort is a smooth-running machine that leaves little attention for any other causes.
February seems like an appropriate month, given that Valentine’s Day falls in the middle of it. What better month than February, the month of hearts and love, to bring attention to the embarrassingly prolific problem of domestic violence? Perhaps a month when we celebrate love and affection is appropriate for bringing attention to the leading contributor to homicides in Maine.
The other thought is our message. At a recent New England Patriots game, the team marched out 200 survivors of breast cancer in a heart-warming moment. Do you think we would ever be able to get 200 survivors of domestic violence together in a public place like that? Don’t count on it.
That’s because of a deep-rooted stigma — a mark of disgrace — felt by victims of domestic abuse. From my 37 years in law enforcement, with the last 11 spent working exclusively in the field of domestic violence, I am convinced a vast majority of victims of domestic abuse feel stigmatized. They wear a self-imposed scarlet letter. Until we are able to tear down that obstacle and develop a mindset that victims of domestic violence are survivors worthy of celebration, I don’t see much progress. March 200 survivors of domestic violence onto a field and then we will have something.
Women who survive breast cancer are alive and ready to shout from the mountain tops that they beat this terrible disease. They march in parades, run marathons, carry signs and are willing to share their stories with the world. Celebrities are no longer hiding from the public when they are battling breast cancer, and they are quick nowadays to share photos of themselves with no hair.
Women who survive domestic violence are regularly embarrassed they allowed themselves to fall prey to this infliction. Some maintain they are responsible for the abuse while many more refuse to even believe they are victims.
Domestic violence will continue to be a scourge in our society until we face it head on. I’m not talking about just arresting and prosecuting perpetrators, as we have gotten very good at that. We need a public face — victims of domestic abuse who are willing and able to step forward, put aside any self-imposed shame and shout to the world that they, too, are survivors.
Domestic violence isn’t caused; it exists. The public and domestic abuse victims needs to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Acknowledgement and embarrassment related to being a victim are small hurdles to overcome when lives are at stake. In order to inspire public reaction, we first need public attention.
Once we stop thinking, we stop trying; once we stop trying, we stop caring; once we stop caring, we stop existing.
Steven Edmondson is the domestic violence investigator for the Sagadahoc County district attorney’s office in Bath.