In honor of National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day, Olivia, Bell’s Furry Friends Photography’s feline studio manager, has grudgingly agreed to give us her list of questions in
between napping and dog patrol.
Olivia: First, since I’ve learned YOUR language, the least you can do is start to learn mine.
Critters: I’ll keep that in mind. Meow.
Olivia: Funny. I’ll sit by your face and poke you tonight for no reason. Then I’ll sit by your alarm and stare at you until you get up to feed me. Speaking of food — when’s dinner?
Critters: We just gave you some wet food and topped off your kibble and water bowls. Are
you really hungry?
Olivia: Yes. I’m always hungry. Just leave out a whole chicken or a fish. I’ll take it from there.
Critters: I don’t think the dogs would like that. We’ll stick to the plan that will keep you at a
healthy weight.
Olivia: You’re always in my space. Why are you so needy?
Critters: It’s because Bill and I love you and that’s how we show affection. We know you’re
not a lap cat. You also happen to be in our space quite a bit. And we love it most of the time.
Olivia: You could show ME more love by feeding me the good stuff, not just the dry food. Or
with treats. Or by leaving the giant food box open. Or by getting rid of the dogs. Why do we have to live with the dogs anyway?
Critters: Because Laura and Buddy are part of our family. We noticed how well you taught them to give you space. But deep down we think you love them, too.
Olivia: You’re mistaken. Sadly mistaken. I tolerate the dogs and as long as they live by my
rules, I’ll tolerate them — for you.
Olivia: I used to be able to go outdoors. Why am I restricted to the castle?
Critters: We know you used to love the outdoors and hunting, but we wanted to make sure
you’d be safe, especially now that we’re living close to the road and surrounded by lots of wild
animals. The house — your castle — is a safe place that you can reign over. Remember when
you disappeared for a few days when we moved back to Bangor 10 years ago? We were so
worried about you. Now we don’t have to worry.
Olivia: OK, then why do I get to go outside the castle once a year to the vet? The whole
process is like being imprisoned. First you go into a small box with bars, then wait to be poked,
prodded and stabbed. Why do you subject me to this torture?
Critters: I wouldn’t say you’re treated like a prisoner. We know it’s stressful to go in the car
and tolerate being poked and prodded. But we take you to the vet once a year to make sure that
you get a clean bill of health. You are 14 years old, after all. We want to make sure you’re
healthy and with us for many more years. You know, we COULD put you in a harness and walk you so you can feel the ground under your feet.
Olivia: Walked like a common dog? I think not. So, why do you move me when I sit on your things?
Critters: Because you sit on the things we need to look at or use. When Bill needs to correct
papers or I need to edit photos and reply to emails, we don’t want to have to move you, but we
need access to what you’re on.
Olivia: So they are important! I thought so. Why don’t you get up when I meow at you?
Critters: Because sometimes we’re doing other things. A lot of times, you don’t NEED
Olivia: Except food. I always need food.
Olivia: I’m having a harder time getting onto things. How are you going to help me? Perhaps
a personal servant?
Critters: We noticed that you tend to fall more when jumping to high spots which is why we
bought you a castle. By the way, we think you’re still moving pretty good at 14 years old.
Olivia: I still think you should get me another servant. A cat can never have too many
Critters: You know, you could snuggle with us when you get cold or if you need some help.
Olivia: One last question: When’s dinner?
Critters: You’ll have to wait for that until tonight. Until then, here are some treats.
Debra Bell is a freelance writer and graphic designer and is the owner of Bell’s Furry Friends
Photography (a division of Bell Imaging & Design LLC). For information, go to bffpetphotos.com.