Insomnia? You remember the health requirement that you should get your eight hours’ sleep (uninterrupted) every night to lead a good life?
Forget that one, too.
I sleep in bits and pieces now and I no longer worry about it. I celebrate it. According to sleep historian (now, there’s a job) Roger Ekirch at Virginia Tech, that might be more natural than “straight” sleep. Ready?
“The dominant pattern of sleep, arguably since time immemorial, was biphasic,” Ekirch told the website Life’s Little Mysteries. In the old, candle-and-lantern days, sleep came in two four-hour blocks, with a period of an hour or more in between during which people might pray, think about their dreams or even visit with neighbors.
So there.
But that was back when darkness could last as long as 14 hours a night with nothing but candles for extra light, meaning people were more prone to go to bed early. Thanks to the invention of the lightbulb, we now stay awake later, leaving us with less sleep time — meaning that in order to get the same amount of sleep, we have to do it all at once, Life’s Little Mysteries reported. But when subjected to natural light patterns, one study found everyone still sleeps biphasically, and concluded that such a sleep pattern is actually beneficial.
References to “first sleep” or “deep sleep” and “second sleep” or “morning sleep” abound in legal depositions, literature and other archival documents from pre-industrial European times. Gradually, though, during the 19th century, “language changed and references to segmented sleep fell away,” said Ekirch. “Now people call it insomnia.”
You can blame the shift in your sleeping habits on Thomas Edison’s light bulb and the Industrial Revolution.
I have inadvertently reverted to the “first sleep” system. I have no pattern anymore and no schedule. It doesn’t matter if I get up at 6 a.m. or (blush) 9:45 a.m. Many times, I wake up a single hour after I go to bed. I don’t fight it. I enjoy it.
My wonderful queen-size bed is a carnival of nocturnal entertainment. First of all, there is the television, but the remote is sometimes faulty and I would have to get out of bed and walk across the floor to turn the television on. Too much effort. Then there is the miracle of the ages, the wonderful Kindle. That remains plugged in 24/7. It has become my home entertainment center with a dozen books always waiting. It offers a connection to my lifeline of Facebook, to keep track of Jefferson Phil’s latest gourmet soup creation or Fabulous Bob’s latest grandchild. Serious people doubt the use of Facebook and call it a “great timewaster.” I feel sorry for those people who miss Texas Larry’s night band pictures and live updates on Donald Trump’s latest ravings.
If that is out of reach, the iPhone is on the next pillow, charging. That miracle offers connection to any radio station in the world, including my favorite, WFAN, which I listen to after every New York City sports team loss. The phone offers “podcasts” in case you have missed the latest WFAN morning show, Bill Simmons’ latest wisdom or Tony Kornheiser’s radio show from Washington, D.C. If there is a better show on radio than Kornheiser, I have not found it. Naturally the 2,200 songs I have placed on iTunes are on deck at any time. The Pandora application can supply endless comedy acts, including current favorite John Pinette.
If you are a real glutton, you can do the New York Times crossword while you listen to Kornheiser.
I don’t fight those midnight wakeups which used to be termed “insomnia.” I enjoy them.
According to sleep historian Roger Ekirch, I am sleeping beneficially and biphasically.
So there.
Emmet Meara lives in Camden in blissful retirement after working as a reporter for the BDN in Rockland for 30 years.