Each year in May, organizations and individuals around the country team up to promote mental health awareness. This May, the organization Mental Health America create a theme titled “Life with a Mental Illness” and called on individuals to share their own story. After hearing a strong young woman share her story in front of adult strangers, I felt inspired to share part of mine.
I am one of the millions of Americans who has suffered with mental health issues. Specifically, I have struggled with depression.
Depression caused me to become distant from the world and the lifestyle I once loved. Depression took over my life and made everyday living difficult. It made school even harder. Maintaining strong relationships with friends, with loved ones and with those I held close was an extremely difficult task, one I often failed to do.
From a friend’s point of view, it’s hard to help someone who can’t find the words to tell you what is wrong. It’s hard to care for someone who has hit rock bottom. In short, it’s hard to love someone with depression.
I know some of my friends must have felt this way as I struggled. I don’t hold it against those friends who chose to keep their distance. I look forward to one day reconnecting with them.
Recently, I had to watch my peers receive their diplomas and start their adult lives, while I am questioning if I will ever graduate or if the career path I have chosen is even right for me. In the political science world, it’s hard to imagine someone who would hire a staffer who struggled in the classroom and couldn’t get into law school unless he picked the locks. Depression caused me to question myself at every turn.
I am not ashamed to say that I have suffered from depression. I am not ashamed to say that I have had setbacks in my life. I am not ashamed to say I am taking the alternative route to the four-year college plan. But I am ashamed to say I did not ask for help sooner.
I am ashamed that I felt inferior to those around me. I’m ashamed that I felt the struggle with my mental illness was something I had to hide. I kept telling myself to simply snap out of it. I lied to myself and said that if I tried harder I could symbolically pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back to my old life. That wasn’t the case. I needed help long before I got it.
[More: The secret lives of 3 Maine people with depression]
Millions of Americans will struggle with depression or other mental illnesses during the course of their lifetime. Oftentimes, it can be hard to tell whether someone is struggling to keep their head above water. It’s important to remember that mental illnesses do not discriminate. Depression doesn’t care whether you are black or white, male or female. Anxiety doesn’t care if you are young or old. Post-traumatic stress disorder doesn’t care if you are rich or poor.
People from all walks of life can struggle with their mental health for short or long periods of their lives. In fact, nearly everyone will experience depression at one point or another during their lives.
Over the past several years, you may have seen me in stories by local media for my accomplishments. I have received a considerable amount of attention as a youthful activist and one of the “bright young stars” from Old Town. I’m proud of the work I’ve done in my community and the accomplishments I’ve worked hard to achieve.
But these articles do not paint a complete picture of my life. It is my hope that sharing another side of my story will encourage others to come out of the darkness and realize they’re not alone, that there’s no shame in asking for help.
Perhaps my example will show others that anyone can suffer from mental illness. Perhaps a student will reach out to a friend who has been acting strange lately and offer them a little extra support or a wife will encourage her husband to seek help.
Most importantly, I hope my words will stick with you and enable us all to re-examine how we talk about mental illnesses and view people who struggle with a mental health problem differently. We can all work to understand each other better.
Lee Jackson is a student at the University of Maine, a member of the Old Town School Board and chair of the Penobscot County Republican Committee. He can be reached at LeeJackson633@gmail.com or on Twitter @LeeJacksonME.