BANGOR, Maine — A gay couple who moved to the Queen City from Colorado six months ago and who were victims of a homophobic act of vandalism last weekend is sending a public message against hate and intolerance.
Steven Melgar was shopping Saturday at the Wal-Mart in Bangor when someone scratched a homophobic slur on his car parked outside — once on the hood and again on a side panel.
This occurred just days before Bangor’s annual Pride Week was set to get underway and a week after a mass shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando that spurred national conversation about equal rights and tolerance.
Steven Melgar’s husband reported the incident to police, and an officer has been assigned to handle it, according to Bangor police Sgt. Tim Cotton.
Since doing so, the couple has reacted to the crime by holding their heads up high. They suggest others do the same, especially in the wake of Orlando.
“I am not ashamed of who I am, and no act of hate or ignorance or intolerance will change that,” Steven Melgar posted on a crowdsourcing website he created to raise money to “de-slur” his car by covering up his scratched paint.
“I spent years hiding who I was. Even after I came out to family and friends, I would hide who I was in public,” Steven Melgar wrote. “I can’t hide any longer.”
His husband, Jesse Melgar, initially was mad about the incident.
“Today a stranger decided to inscribe the word ‘F*g’ into my husband’s car,” he told the Bangor Daily News in a text message. “At first, we were angry. I considered if using my life savings, and then some, to move to this beautiful state was the right choice.”
But then, the couple said, they listened to their neighbors, including Tina Murphy who lives in the same building, and new friends and realized they didn’t need to be upset.
“I am not angry, because every Mainer I know is angry FOR me,” said Jesse Melgar in his text, adding, “I am gender-fluid as well. Bangor, Maine, is the only place I have not dealt with hatred toward me or my community.”
Gender fluidity is when a person shifts between masculine, feminine and gender neutrality in how they dress, act and describe themselves.
Murphy told the Melgars to call the police.
“It’s a hate crime,” she said Tuesday. “It’s not right, especially with everything that happened in Florida. It’s just sad.”
The couple, who were married Oct. 11, 2013, have decided to focus on the love they have received in the wake of the hurtful graffiti and not the ignorance behind it.
“It’s all about acceptance,” Jesse Melgar said.
This year’s Bangor Pride Week celebration, hosted by The Bridge Alliance and Mabel Wadsworth Health Center, began Tuesday. Several events lead up to Saturday’s pride festival and parade in downtown Bangor.