Stand your ground
If someone knows your political leanings and prods you, say, “I voted my conscience, but if you are interested in talking about this later I will.” You need to respond and acknowledge politically charged questions but do not answer them during the feast.
Bring props
Pictures of your vacation, a Wiffle ball and bat or a game like Cranium can be helpful distractions. You could interview a family member for a podcast such as StoryCorps or work on a family tree together. There are all sorts of different activities, so come prepared.
Seat them right
Don’t sit people with opposite political views next to each other or across the table from each other. Sit them on the same side of table with a person or two between them, so they do not share sight lines or come in contact with each other.
Read the situation
Know when to “lean in and when to lean back,” Jeffrey Selinger, associate professor of government at Bowdoin College, said.
Avoid excess alcohol
Know your limits and stay below them. If you want a drink after dinner when you get home to settle your nerves, that’s fine. “In three decades of studying etiquette, I have yet to find manners improve with higher alcohol consumption,” Smith said.
Defuse the situation
If provoked, come armed with a few conciliatory expressions, such as, “good people can disagree,” “we don’t need to win this argument, but I’d like to be understood” or “I’ll hear you if you’ll hear this point I’m making,” Selinger suggested.
Walk it off
There is a time and a place for everything. Go for a long walk with your pro-Trump father and explain your views one on one. That tends to work better than if you gang up on someone.
Watch what you say in front of kids
They watch the way adults behave.“It’s scary for young kids when they see people get agitated. Be careful to have healthy discussions. They are watching more than we think,” Carrie Riley, public relations director, said.
From etiquette coach Jodi R.R. Smith, Bowdoin College government professor Jeffrey Selinger and Carrie Riley, a public relations professional.
