FORT KENT, Maine — Living out in the woods as I do, it’s really no surprise most of my immediate neighbors have fur or feathers.
In fact, the entire land management style here on Rusty Metal Farm was created with the woodland creatures in mind.
A pond was dug to meet any aquatic needs, mixed stands of trees are left to do their own, natural things to create sustainable habitat for a variety of critters and there is minimum human impact on their domain.
Over the years, it’s been a congenial, live and let live arrangement.
But lately, I have the distinct impression my forest friends have started regarding me not so much as their benign landlord, but as their lackey. Moreover, I suspect they are organizing and making plans, and I honestly don’t think extortion is too strong a word for what they are up to.
Consider the birds.
One of the first things we did when we moved on to the farm decades ago was install birdfeeders around the house.
There was nothing like enjoying that first cup of morning coffee whilst watching the gathering chickadees, blue jays and nuthatches flitting about in search of the sunflower seeds we’d left for them.
Trouble is, over the years those birds told their friends about the free meals. Then those birds, in turn, told their friends and now, many generations of birds later, instead of watching happy flitting birds, I’m treated to a daily feathery feeding frenzy.
Every morning, when I step outside, there they are — perched on tree branches, on power lines, along the roof ridge, beedy little eyes staring accusingly down at me as I replenish the empty feeders.
I have no real idea what would happen if I refused them their daily allotment of sunflower seeds, but honestly, I don’t want to find out. Their sheer numbers alone terrify me, and the 25-pounds of seeds they eat a week are a cheap price to pay to avoid looking like Suzanne Pleshette in “The Birds.”
Meanwhile, the woodpeckers are nowhere near as subtle when it comes to keeping them in suet balls all winter. In what has evolved into a pretty straightforward arrangement. I make sure there is always suet available and they don’t reduce my house to a pile of sawdust.
Trust me, few things are as motivating as the sound of a half dozen annoyed woodpeckers hammering holes into your cedar shingle siding.
Then there is the roving pack of squirrels whose demands have increased over the winters.
Early on, they were content to hang out near the bird feeders and scrounge for whatever seeds fell their way. At some point, one or more got crafty and excavated a tunnel under the snow with an opening directly under the feeders, so any overflow seeds fell directly into their waiting paws.
Lately, they have taken turns sneaking onto my back porch where they perch on the woodpile and scream at me until I toss more seeds out.
I did try a brief, unsuccessful counter-move when I tossed my two cats out, thinking they would solve the squirrel problem.
The felines and rodents stared at each other for awhile, then the cats came back inside and went back to napping while the squirrels went back to screaming.
I now buy their silence with sunflower seeds.
When it comes to extortion, the clear ruler — the Godfather, if you will — on the farm is the ermine which has taken up residence under my garage and in rather close proximity to my flock of laying hens, a favorite on any ermine’s menu.
But, with daily payment of “tributes” in the form of frozen smelt, raw liver or half a hot dog tossed in his direction, he has thus far agreed to leave the chickens alone.
And at least the ermine is making an effort to earn his keep — I’ve not seen a mouse in the garage all winter.
Most recently there has been a fox making a regular appearance in the woods near the house. I have no idea what he’s after, but apparently word of free meals at Rusty Metal Farm is working its way up the food chain.
Get in line buddy, get in line.
Julia Bayly of Fort Kent is an award-winning writer and photographer who writes part time for Bangor Daily News. Her column appears here every other Friday. She can be reached by email at jbayly@bangordailynews.com.
