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I want to sincerely apologize to Cindy Adams from the New York Post for her uninspired experience on her recent visit to our neck of the woods. I read her review, and I share some of her disdain for this abhorrent place.
I mean, who would ever want to live here? There are entirely too many trees, beaches, lighthouses. It’s disgusting. Acadia National Park is beautiful, but if you want real beauty, have you ever even seen the Empire State Building? Or East Harlem?
And don’t even get me started on safety! Why would anyone ever want to live in a state that is a perennial favorite for the top spot on the list of the safest places to live in America, when they could live in a lovely two-bedroom apartment overlooking the location of the next mugging or carjacking for the rock-bottom price of $3,000 a month!
And the people here? Yuck. I’d much rather live in a congested melting pot with more than 8.3 million other people, all of whom I’m sure possess movie-star beauty.
But I digress. In actuality, I’d like to thank Adams for promoting this the way she did. I believe that she did more good than harm in our never-ending war on the obnoxious tourist.
I only hope that her words made it to the ears of every other person exactly like her. The fewer of them here, the better.