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I would like to respond to the recent article about University of Maine at Augusta presidential candidate Michael Laliberte by putting forth my name as his replacement.
I am eminently qualified because I hold a master’s level degree in doing nothing and I have over 15 years experience in doing nothing as my current employer can attest.
Since I have such expertise in doing nothing for large sums of money, I will demonstrate my exceptional skills by not providing my resume or cover letter other than this brief note, which I will assume is sufficient.
Please begin depositing my salary immediately to my account which I will not be providing either.
I look forward to a long distinguished career with UMA. Please don’t bother to hold a press conference announcing my appointment, I will not be attending.