In this Sept. 12, 2022, file photo, University of Maine System Chancellor Dannel Malloy (left) sits next to the chair of the system's board of trustees, Trish Riley, during a board meeting at the University of Maine at Presque Isle. Credit: Sawyer Loftus / BDN

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I would like to respond to the recent article about University of Maine at Augusta presidential candidate Michael Laliberte by putting forth my name as his replacement.

I am eminently qualified because I hold a master’s level degree in doing nothing and I have over 15 years experience in doing nothing as my current employer can attest.

Since I have such expertise in doing nothing for large sums of money, I will demonstrate my exceptional skills by not providing my resume or cover letter other than this brief note, which I will assume is sufficient.

Please begin depositing my salary immediately to my account which I will not be providing either.

I look forward to a long distinguished career with UMA. Please don’t bother to hold a press conference announcing my appointment, I will not be attending.

Kevin Gardner