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There is a kind of courage that rarely gets celebrated — the private, unglamorous work of facing your worst self and choosing to change.
Reading about Graham Platner, I recognized it. I’ve experienced it and witnessed it in hundreds of others.
I spent years in a rigorous 12-step program. What I encountered in “the rooms” humbled and inspired me: doctors, lawyers, executives, public servants — high-achieving people who had made real mistakes, quietly doing the hardest thing a person can do. Not performing remorse. Not explaining themselves. Just showing up, telling the truth, and doing the work.
I was one of them. I held a senior position in a large organization while my personal life was in chaos. Recovery brought those two halves into alignment, and I emerged more grounded, honest, and happier.
One pillar of 12-step culture is anonymity — not out of shame, but wisdom. People tell the full truth only when trusted to be heard without judgment. That trust is what makes recovery work.
By Platner’s wife Amy Gertner’s own account, she and Graham work every day on their mental health and marriage with counselors. That is not a scandal. That is integrity. The fact that this private work was exposed and is now being weaponized says nothing to me about them — and everything about those who did it.
I admire people willing to face themselves honestly. I don’t trust people willing to exploit it.
Personal growth is not a disqualification from public life. For many of us, it is precisely what made us worthy of it.
Valerie Tate
Belfast