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As an aging hunter and outdoor writer, I have begun to look inward. Since I was a kid, I have always been drawn to the hunt. Truth be known, I have never taken the time to ponder why. I just know that it is apparently the way I am wired, perhaps some mysterious connection with my primitive ancestry.
A psychologist might conclude that I have an addiction to deer hunting in particular. So be it.
I have been hunting big game for more than 60 years, and most of my contemporaries were once die-hard deer hunters. But many have found their enthusiasm cooling, either because of health or because they have simply lost their appetite for the hunt. My knees are not what they used to be, and I tend to be clumsy in the woods, walking on uneven ground or stepping over blowdowns.
Because I have plenty of free time now, I deer hunted this past fall to my heart’s delight, from September through December. I did it all — bow, rifle and black powder. The deer were exceptionally plentiful. As I told my son, “Darned if this wasn’t one of the best deer seasons ever, in spite of my age and sore joints.”
The downside is that my physical capabilities are fading at a time when I still enjoy the hunt so much. It might be easier if my enthusiasm were cooling like that of so many of my aging buddies, who once enjoyed the hunt as much as I still do.
To gain some perspective on all of this, I ran it by an acquaintance who happens to be very knowledgeable about psychology and human behavior. He asked for anonymity, so we will call him Dr. Insight.
I asked him if it was normal for me to remain so enthusiastic about deer hunting after all these years.
He said there was nothing wrong with me. Enjoyment doesn’t necessarily fade with age. For some people, it can actually become more meaningful over time.
After 60 years of deer hunting, he said, my enjoyment probably isn’t just about venison or antlers. It is also tied to memories, experience, familiarity and a sense of belonging. He didn’t see that as addiction, but as part of who I am.
I also asked him if it was unusual that I seem to be in the minority of older men who still deer hunt.
“Psychologically, these are two equally valid strategies for aging. One reduces desire to match declining ability. The other preserves desire and renegotiates risk, discomfort and expectation.”
“Neither is healthier in the abstract. They’re simply different ways of staying whole.”
As I told Dr. Insight, the hard truth is that my physical capabilities are fading at a time when I still enjoy the hunt so much. His response was that the real tension is not desire versus decline. It’s honesty versus nostalgia.
He said, “That’s the true conflict — and it’s an ancient one. The risk isn’t that your ardor remains high. It’s that nostalgia may quietly edit out the present-day costs. Clumsiness, falls, exhaustion, recovery time — these aren’t moral failings, but they do require honest reckoning. Cooling ardor would make things easier. But easier isn’t the same as truer.”
Am I fooling myself? Just chasing youth? Or am I just plain stubborn, trying to maintain the best years of my life as long as I am blessed to do so?
What do you think?