2012, directed by Roland Emmerich, written by Emmerich and Harold Kloser, 158 minutes, rated PG-13.
Roland Emmerich has a new movie out, which means it’s time to start rebuilding our infrastructure, finding new places to live, dusting off memories of what it means to successfully duck-and-cover, and slapping bandages on the world’s landmarks.
Or at least, what’s left of them.
His latest epic, “2012,” once again finds the director wandering around the world, casually smashing it to bits with joyous ease, and all while delivering the destruction with some of the worst, most risible and predictable writing of the year.
Any year. Pick a year. Doesn’t matter the year.
The film, which Emmerich co-wrote with Harold Kloser, makes one wonder what Emmerich would be handed for a sentence if he were making movies during the McCarthy era. Would he be considered an American-hating communist for taking out the White House in not one but two movies (this film and “Independence Day”)? For felling the Washington Monument? For crushing our cities flat? Oh, likely, he would. And yes, he’d be on that list — the black one.
About the movie. Well, it’s just a work of art, and to some degree, I’m serious. Special effects have come a long way, baby, and this movie is a showcase for the cheesy best of the best. There is no denying the sheer pleasure that goes into watching disaster movies when the disasters are played up with the sort of sheen presented here. This movie is a spit-and-shine miracle of special effects, so much so that occasionally, you do slip out of the clutch of cliches Emmerich hurls at you and marvel at how talented computers have become.
If only it were so easy for some writers. Talk about devastation — they can take out the world (and ruin a good time) with the swipe of a pen. That’s sometimes the case here, with the film’s slim shred of a plot going down like this: The year is 2012. John Cusack is Jackson Curtis, a divorced dad of two who is trying to be civil to his ex-wife, Kate (Amanda Peet), when the Earth’s crust starts to shift.
Though the scientist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) predicted this day would come and has warned the president of the United States (Danny Glover) as well as his staff, few others knew, with the exception of Charlie (Woody Harrelson), a pot-smoking hippie living high up in Yellowstone, where he has a radio show that has long declared the end of the world.
When the end comes, it hits hard (that’s the fun part), but who wants to bet that Jackson and Kate will be thrown together, in spite of the fact that Kate is remarried to another man (Tom McCarthy)? Will they all suck up their differences in an effort to survive? Will they squeak out creaky old dialogue that could crumble Rio? And what about their daughter, who is 7 and must wear pull-ups because, for sheer character development alone, we learn that she has bladder issues? Will those be solved by the end of the movie? Will the world live on?
What do you think?
What’s so frustrating about “2012,” which nods its head broadly at Mayan prophecy, is that it could have been a great action movie. If the special effects team can do their jobs, certainly the producers behind the movie, which was budgeted at nearly $300 million, could have hired better writers who didn’t dumb down the pro-ceedings. Not once in this film is something not telegraphed. Just try finding a surprise. It won’t be there, but the explosions will, and for some, that will be enough.
Grade: C-
On DVD and Blu-ray disc
FUNNY PEOPLE, written and directed by Judd Apatow, 146 minutes, rated R.
Judd Apatow’s “Funny People” poses an interesting question worth exploring. For years, the modern comedy has been driven more by raunch than by wit. Box office figures support the fact that today’s mainstream audiences are more interested in laughs elevated by poop jokes than they are by, say, well-written bons mots.
Apatow’s two previous films as a writer-director (“The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up”) embraced these more base leanings, but now, in the DVD and Blu-ray release of his third film, he has taken a turn that could either turn off his fan base or find him a new one.
Let’s be clear: There is no shortage of sex jokes in “Funny People” — crudity abounds and much of it is funny — but there also is no denying that this is Apatow’s most ambitious, serious-minded comedy to date. Still, at a bloated 2½ hours, it’s also his worst.
Adam Sandler is the comedy superstar George Simmons, who appears to have it all until you look a little more closely at his life. George isn’t just lonely, but as the film starts, he’s facing death if an experimental drug doesn’t work. Since there only is an 8 percent chance of that happening, George takes to the comedy circuit and delivers performances that are bleak, to say the least.
Realizing this, he decides to hire the up-and-coming comic Ira Wright (Seth Rogen), who works days at a fast-food joint to help pay the bills and who shares an apartment in Los Angeles with his friends (Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman). George sees flashes of promise in Ira’s stand-up routine, and so he asks him to write jokes for him. It’s a gig that leads to a full-time job as Ira becomes George’s personal assistant and then caregiver as George’s health declines.
When circumstances allow for love to re-enter George’s life, it’s through his one true love, Laura (Apatow’s wife, the excellent Leslie Mann), who now is married to a hunky Australian (Eric Bana) actively cheating on her. So, the question is obvious: How do these and all of the film’s other complicated elements make for a rousing comedy? They don’t. This isn’t a bad movie so much as it is an admirable failure. The performances are good. It’s also nice to see Apatow taking a risk and reaching for something more. But if that reach means sacrificing laughs in a movie billed as a comedy, there aren’t enough laughs in “Funny People” to make it a comedy worth recommending.
Grade: C+
WeekinRewind.com is the site for Bangor Daily News film critic Christopher Smith’s blog, DVD giveaways and movie reviews. Smith’s reviews appear Fridays and weekends in Lifestyle, as well as on bangordailynews.com. He may be reached at Christopher@weekinrewind.com.