Valerie Morin would have been 28 years old this year.
The boy who was driving the car in which she died 12 years ago is now a man of 29.
I don’t know where he is today or what he is doing, but I know where he was and what he was facing on March 7, 2000, nine months after that fun-filled, sun-soaked carefree day in June 1999 turned to tragedy on a back road in Hampden.
I know what he was doing on that March day because I was in the courtroom where he sat as a defendant and I’ve never forgotten the gut-wrenching pain that filled that room.
This week the state is reeling from the loss of four young people killed in three separate fatal accidents last weekend. Gov. Paul LePage has declared this month Young Driver Safety Awareness Month and officials and community members are once again tossing around ideas about how best to get through to the brains of our distracted and imprudent teenage drivers.
Secretary of State Charlie Summers is holding community brainstorming sessions at Bureau of Motor Vehicles offices throughout the state starting on Tuesday, Jan 17, in Bangor.
There is talk about increasing the length of time that a teen driver would have to possess a driver’s license before being allowed to ferry around underage passengers. It’s now six months.
What few may remember is that it was the death of Valerie Morin, a sophomore at Hampden Academy, that first touched off efforts to adopt that graduated license program, designed to ease young drivers into full driving privileges, limit their distractions and reduce their urge to show off.
It would appear that was exactly what then-17-year-old Adam Beaulieu was doing that June day. Beaulieu also was a sophomore at Hampden Academy and had passed his driver’s test just 44 days earlier.
He and others were celebrating the end of the school year at a pool party and he, Morin and another young man jumped in his car to go pick up another friend and bring him back to the party.
On the way back, according to police reports and courtroom testimony at the time, Beaulieu was driving 80 mph down Kennebec Road, passing cars and swerving from one side of the road to another. He turned onto Monroe Road in the wrong lane.
According to courtroom testimony, Morin was pounding on the seat begging him to slow down, as were the other passengers.
Beaulieu didn’t. He lost control of the small car, which traveled 50 yards in reverse before it slammed into a tree. Morin was sitting in the back seat, which was pushed forward 4 feet. She died at the scene.
And so it was that Beaulieu sat nine months later inside a Bangor courtroom facing a juvenile charge of vehicular manslaughter, wearing his purple-and-white Hampden Academy varsity letter jacket, sobbing uncontrollably and gasping for breath as he tried to formulate an apology to Morin’s mother and father.
And so it was that Valerie Morin’s mother stood tearful in that courtroom facing Beaulieu and the rest of us trying to make us understand in just a few minutes the type of person her daughter was and what her loss meant.
“All you had to do was slow down,” she told Beaulieu.
Others spoke on Beaulieu’s behalf. He was a good boy, an inexperienced driver who got caught up in the excitement of the moment.
Perhaps the most wrenching remarks came from Beaulieu’s mother, who wept openly, telling the Morins that she never would understand the depth of their pain but that boy who was her son “was gone and will never be back. He is serving a life sentence. He’s a good kid who made a horrible mistake and he will pay for the rest of his life.”
Beaulieu never could catch his breath long enough to apologize to Valerie Morin’s family.
He was nearly collapsing and gasping for breath as he tried. Finally his attorney took over and read the apology that Beaulieu had written.
No one will ever know what Valerie Morin’s life would have looked like today had she lived — marriage, children, a career?
I do know her tragic death started our state down the path of adopting the graduated licensing program that we have today and may possibly expand.
As the mother of teenagers, one who is driving and one who soon will be, I know that I am grateful for that law.
It’s a good one and I have little doubt that it has saved and will continue to save lives.
But no one yet has figured out a way to save them all, as evidenced by last weekend’s events and the grim teen driving fatality statistics here and around the nation.
I always thought that more teenagers should have been in that courtroom that day to have witnessed and felt the grief there.
It has always stuck with me.
It would stick with an older person, but teenagers still believe they are invincible, even after hearing about a tragedy involving their peers. I had thought it was a year that they had to have their license before having anyone outside of family ride with them.
One tragedy after another. This will always be….it’s called life. It’s the innocence of being a child, they feel invinsible. Some make it through life without these tragedies and some of us don’t. I feel the pain, but children will continue to be wreckless etc
Some adults continue to be wreckless. Watch the papers for adults, I bet they out number teen drivers. Fatal adult crashes don’t seem to make the popularity news like a teen driver. Loosing a teen to tragedy tears at all of our heart strings…. Horrible tragedy.
Personally I wish they would extend the time to include all four seasons of driving before other than family members may ride.
Not necessarily all four seasons, but winter especially. I took driver’s ed in the summer and spent a bulk of my permit driving at night. I did do some winter driving before taking my test. The day I got my license, we had a snowstorm.
We are having one of the mildest winters in a long time, I think it’s safe to say that winter isn’t to blame. I think that you should have to have your permit longer, and then have your license longer as well before being able to cart around anyone but adult family members with you.
I was the freshman class at Hampden Academy in 2000, and I remember Beaulieu talking to us about driving. It was a surreal experience, considering the wounds were so fresh. But he is a sparkling example of why youths need stricter driving guidelines. You don’t have to be a bad kid to be a bad driver.
Something has to happen, maybe we need to completely increase the driving age altogether. I dont know the answer, but I do know that the awareness programs are NOT working. They aren’t reaching youth on their level, and making the situations relate-able. Hearing Beaulieu speak freshman year was relate-able, it was fresh, you could feel the pain. We knew what it felt like. Teens who haven’t experienced this don’t understand, regardless of how much preaching is done at them, and how many awareness days we have. Something has to change in the approach.
my daughter just got her permit in November she took drivers ed and has to have her permit for a year before she will be 16 and will be able to apply for her license. I did this for the intention of having a whole year of her only being able to drive with me in the car. I am taking the driving in steps, no interstate yet, that will come when I think she is ready, and no driving on slippery roads, that will come too. I have the opportunity to show her different situations and how to handle them. I dont know if this will make a different but I am hoping…
I know how you feel. It’s SO much harder than when we were kids. My 16 year old daughter just got her permit in Sept. and I’m struggling to get through it. She’s a great kid but I try to not be as naive as my awesome parents were. These recent deaths have hit me especially hard as I am still not over my daughter losing her boyfriend (along with another friend) to an accident he caused last year.
As I am rarely at a loss for an opinion, it is so difficult to try and make sense of any of this. I am SO sad for these parents, it’s tough to explain. I also have no idea what the right course of action is to take to prevent further tradgedies. I wish I did. I just try to examine each and every occasion when my kids want to do something with their young friends. Tonight, I was a big jerk for not letting her go out to a party with her 17 year old girlfriend who’s had her license for about 7 months. I’m ok with that. I hope someday see will recognize where the love from this big jerk was coming from. I think she will. Great column Renee…
I know how you feel. It’s SO much harder than when we were kids. My 16 year old daughter just got her permit in Sept. and I’m struggling to get through it. She’s a great kid but I try to not be as naive as my awesome parents were. These recent deaths have hit me especially hard as I am still not over my daughter losing her boyfriend (along with another friend) to an accident he caused last year.
As I am rarely at a loss for an opinion, it is so difficult to try and make sense of any of this. I am SO sad for these parents, it’s tough to explain. I also have no idea what the right course of action is to take to prevent further tradgedies. I wish I did. I just try to examine each and every occasion when my kids want to do something with their young friends. Tonight, I was a big jerk for not letting her go out to a party with her 17 year old girlfriend who’s had her license for about 7 months. I’m ok with that. I hope someday she will recognize where the love from this big jerk was coming from. I think she will. Great column Renee…
Great job! Go with your gut feelings and it will never steer you wrong. If something didn’t seem right or feel right, we said, “no”. They had to answer, who, what, where, when and how long. Complete with phone numbers for verification, any pauses and they were homebound. When our oldest left, she stated that she was free from our prison! Angry she was as she left for school. Now, today, she lectures ME on how I’m not strict enough with her younger siblings (who think we are overprotective) and how she would discipline them. I’ve also been informed by her, that WE weren’t strict enough with her and her sister. Yes, our jaws dropped. Now, when my youngest wants to go somewhere, and I say “no”, I feel confident with my decision, as she places herself in her room. I know she is safe and that is good enough for me, this too will pass.
I took have old kids who tell me the same thing. Funny how it all comes back around isn’t it. You’re doing a great job and I wouldn’t change anything.
My girls did to. My son wasn’t quite so on the ball earning his money, therefore he was late. As good parents, its logic to ride with them and teach them how to drive on snow, until they get the feel for it. We did our son.
Not to try to take away from the importance of this column because of the tragedy to everyone involved, but Renee Ordway: shouldn’t the title read ‘abject’ not ‘object’?
Some kids will understand the depth of harm they can cause when they get behind the wheel, and sad to say, some will never get it! Parents try hard, but sad some kids still speed and text! Should be 18 when they can drive alone.
I know adults that speed and text. At my last job, I rode with a staff member that drove fast and texted, while he was on state funded methadone. He still works there, I don’t. When my boss stated that I must ride with him, it was my job and he had a disability (drug addiction is a disabity, I was told and he was in treatment for over a year) that ended that career.
This isn’t about lessons to be learned. These kids knew better and probably were taught to listen. But, like any kids out there, they do whats kids do. Unfortunatly, not all survive.
You’re absolutely right. Even though my father taught me all about safe driving, I did what many kids do; I took foolish chances and risks, even though I knew better. I’m a very safe driver now, just because that’s what age and experience do to you (at least most people). My son has had his license for a little over a year. He’s not anywhere near the dare devil I was at his age, but he’s still a kid and I’m sure that he does things driving that I wouldn’t approve of, and that he knows I wouldn’t approve of. I just keep emphasizing safety and responsibility to him and pray that he uses at least some of what I’ve taught him. I pray that the Lord keeps him safe and all of his friends as well when I know they’re behind the wheel.
I was a student at Hampden Academy when the accident with Valerie happened. I didn’t realize that the incident started the move toward the graduated license program. Also didn’t realize quite all the details of what happened until I read the article here. Such a tragedy.
4o year olds drink drive and kill people. You don’t have to be a teen driver to neglect the law. Does that mean we cite all the irresponsible adults in the last year and then pull all adults licenses for another year to see if we wise up? It would be interesting to see how many adults have accidents texting, as well as drinking.
As a mom to three teen drivers that have been very responsible (2 now are into adulthood), I don’t think you can extend it due to a few horrible tragedies. I base this on the fact that most teens are driving responsible everyday. How many licensed teens are driving in Maine today, without incident? It seems that it only takes a handful to change laws for all. Unfortunately, this handful, will be the same unresponsible handful when they hit 18. Those who drink and drive having no regard for the law, have no regard for the law.
I’d rather see the drivers licenses grade based. If you drop out of school, you don’t get your license until you are 18. If your grades fall below a C, you loose your license. This would encourage teens to make the grades and not drop out. I know my girls and now my son always had to make honor roll in order to be on our insurance policy, because of the discount. They knew if their grades fell below a B, they wouldn’t be driving.
The man in this article must have been 17, have to wonder if he had his license over a year? The tragedies this year, did those teens have their licenses over a year? I have noticed that when teens first get their licenses they are careful, its over time that they develop bad habits and get brave. Remember when you first got your license, it was 3 o’clock and 9 o’clock, hands on the wheel. It was approx. a year later that we became comfortable and one hand on the wheel, eating mcDonald’s. Just saying… Before, changing the law, I would check the facts and see if these tragedies were teens within their first 6 months or even under a year?
Change the driving age to 18… if they cant vote, or buy ciggarettes or join the military until they are 18 then driving should also be one they should wait for!!!!! Driving is a privilege, take the privilege away…15 for a permit is too young most kids are still very immature and cant handle a responsibilty like this..
Thing is, it is possible to join the military at 17 with a parental waver. In the story Renee wrote that this “kid” was wearing his letter jacket when in the courtroom. He committed an adult crime and someone thought that it was a good idea to wear this jacket to court. WTF were they thinking. Hey kid, no one give a crap if you were on the olympic team and won a hundred gold medals. time to step up to the place,dress like an adult, and for cryin’ out loud, dress like you are in court for a serious offense.
Most sadly, its driver inexperience which can happen at any age. In these recent weeks its happened upon teens. No one intends to take the car do a little joy riding and intentionally kill the friends with them yet, this is exactly what happens all too often. Its too bad we mostly learn by experiencing but the schooling of driver education does not appear in-depth enough, inadequate road time during multiple seasons and driving conditions. Extend the law that they must drive alone for one year and, set every car in Maine with a breathalyzer such that the engine will not start unless the driver is not intoxicated. It won’t stop drivers from exercising poor judgement but, it might slow them down. And parents, stop allowing underage drinking and parties. Call the police even on your own child. Their life is worth saving but, are you strong enough to a parent and not your child’s friend?
As someone who lost a friend at a young age due to a poor decision and inexperience, I share many of the sentiments here.
Driver training is an important piece, but to balance the equation, parents must take a role. Ask the right questions, spend time with your son/daughter behind the wheel, spend time in empty parking lots to practice in all weather conditions and, above all, do your best to raise thoughtful children that understand the potential consequences.
It seems trite to ask, “What would you do if you hurt or killed a friend?” but those are the questions that must be asked.
Many jurisdictions only permit driving (and restrict new drivers) after age 18. These are the same places that allow drinking as young as 16 (or even younger when parents are present). Almost all of these places have lower traffic injuries and fatalities than the USA. But of course, they are wrong and we are right. We do everything the best.
The US seems to think children are OK to drive three-ton SUVs at 75 mph in the snow at age 16, but unable to handle one beer until they are 21. Now, we all know that getting the keys to a car is a lot harder than getting access to alcohol, so we end up with the worst possible situation – unskilled hormone-enhanced drunk drivers.
Way to go.
Of course, driving at 16 is very important in America. Otherwise, parents might have to get involved in their children’s lives.
You do have to remember that we live in a very rural area in comparison to many of the jurisdictions you are referring to and we also have much more limited public transportation. I think those factors weigh a lot more than drinking age or licensing age.
When my daughter “earned” her license she received the one from and the state and the one from her parents, they were different. I remember telling her not to pass anyone, not even a farm tractor. Over a year later she asked me if she could pass a slow vehicle now.I had forgotten the intial comment. “Sure go ahead.but be careful”
Parents need to step up to the plate and make decisions for teenagers instead of allowing them to do what their fellow classmates and peers do. There is nothing wrong with saying no, you need to wait until your 17 or a Junior or Senior in HS to get a drivers license. That extra year of maturity can make all of the difference. There is also nothing wrong with having curfews and restrictions about the number of passengers allowed in a vehicle in which the parents pay for or if they pay for the insurance. My husband and I set rules and I have no regrets. My daughter is both hardworking, responsible and does well academically, but things can go wrong when our youth is placed in difficult situations or caught up in the moment. I choose to always play it safe.
I was at Hampden Academy on that beautiful spring week of finals, sun, and freedom, and we all learned an incredible lesson that week. It hit the school hard, Val was the nicest of the nice and we all loved her. We struggled through finals that year, the students and the teachers .
If you’re reading this article and you’re young and you’re making these comments like ‘i know 40 year olds drink and drive!’ or ‘I know adults text.’ Nothing can change the fact that when you are young you are inexperienced, over confident and scientifically under developed in your brain. Its fact.
I WILL be 28 this summer and I promise you only 12 years after getting my license at age 16 I count my blessings every day that my friends and I survived to be the age we did, Adam was not some reckless youth, we ALL flew down those same roads and we all took those same chances we didnt comprehend. I am only 12 years removed from the angst of teen years and the confidence you THINK you have at that age and I can tell you confidently that I would vote to raise the driving age to 18 TODAY. Next time you THINK you know everything, think about the fact that you have no idea what its like to be responsible for the death of a friend, or altering anther’s life FOREVER. It’s tough to tell a teenanger anything, I was one. But when it comes to driving, heed the warnings and remember its a priveledge, not a right and its a dangerous task not an entertaining hobby. My heart goes out to Val’s family, as always
I was at Hampden Academy on that beautiful spring week of finals, sun, and freedom, and we all learned an incredible lesson that week. It hit the school hard, Val was the nicest of the nice and we all loved her. We struggled through finals that year, the students and the teachers .
If you’re reading this article and you’re young and you’re making these comments like ‘i know 40 year olds drink and drive!’ or ‘I know adults text.’ Nothing can change the fact that when you are young you are inexperienced, over confident and scientifically under developed in your brain. Its fact.
I WILL be 28 this summer and I promise you only 12 years after getting my license at age 16 I count my blessings every day that my friends and I survived to be the age we did, Adam was not some reckless youth, we ALL flew down those same roads and we all took those same chances we didnt comprehend. I am only 12 years removed from the angst of teen years and the confidence you THINK you have at that age and I can tell you confidently that I would vote to raise the driving age to 18 TODAY. Next time you THINK you know everything, think about the fact that you have no idea what its like to be responsible for the death of a friend, or altering anther’s life FOREVER. It’s tough to tell a teenanger anything, I was one. But when it comes to driving, heed the warnings and remember its a priveledge, not a right and its a dangerous task not an entertaining hobby. My heart goes out to Val’s family, as always
I was at Hampden Academy on that beautiful spring week of finals, sun, and freedom, and we all learned an incredible lesson that week. It hit the school hard, Val was the nicest of the nice and we all loved her. We struggled through finals that year, the students and the teachers .
If you’re reading this article and you’re young and you’re making these comments like ‘i know 40 year olds drink and drive!’ or ‘I know adults text.’ Nothing can change the fact that when you are young you are inexperienced, over confident and scientifically under developed in your brain. Its fact.
I WILL be 28 this summer and I promise you only 12 years after getting my license at age 16 I count my blessings every day that my friends and I survived to be the age we did, Adam was not some reckless youth, we ALL flew down those same roads and we all took those same chances we didnt comprehend. I am only 12 years removed from the angst of teen years and the confidence you THINK you have at that age and I can tell you confidently that I would vote to raise the driving age to 18 TODAY. Next time you THINK you know everything, think about the fact that you have no idea what its like to be responsible for the death of a friend, or altering anther’s life FOREVER. It’s tough to tell a teenanger anything, I was one. But when it comes to driving, heed the warnings and remember its a priveledge, not a right and its a dangerous task not an entertaining hobby. My heart goes out to Val’s family, as always
I was at Hampden Academy on that beautiful spring week of finals, sun, and freedom, and we all learned an incredible lesson that week. It hit the school hard, Val was the nicest of the nice and we all loved her. We struggled through finals that year, the students and the teachers .
If you’re reading this article and you’re young and you’re making these comments like ‘i know 40 year olds drink and drive!’ or ‘I know adults text.’ Nothing can change the fact that when you are young you are inexperienced, over confident and scientifically under developed in your brain. Its fact.
I WILL be 28 this summer and I promise you only 12 years after getting my license at age 16 I count my blessings every day that my friends and I survived to be the age we did, Adam was not some reckless youth, we ALL flew down those same roads and we all took those same chances we didnt comprehend. I am only 12 years removed from the angst of teen years and the confidence you THINK you have at that age and I can tell you confidently that I would vote to raise the driving age to 18 TODAY. Next time you THINK you know everything, think about the fact that you have no idea what its like to be responsible for the death of a friend, or altering anther’s life FOREVER. It’s tough to tell a teenanger anything, I was one. But when it comes to driving, heed the warnings and remember its a priveledge, not a right and its a dangerous task not an entertaining hobby. My heart goes out to Val’s family, as always
Kids will always think they know better than adults who warn them about the many dangers they face as they grow up. Their generation is different, they grew up with computers and texting so old fogey rules shouldn’t apply to them. That’s the way they think.
The keyboards of smart phones need to be automatically disabled whenever it’s moving faster than at a walking pace.
As an expat living in Norway, I think the US would be smart to adopt the system they have over here. In Norway you must be 18 to get your lisence, attend 200 hours of classes, 50 hours of driving with an instructor and 10 hours of all weather driving. You must also pass a written theory/road law test as well as a driving exam. It seems like a lot, but teen driving deaths are almost non existant here. Imagine the difference it would make in the States. 16 is far too young and immature to do something as important and dangerous as driving. Kids at that age don’t possess the foresight needed to consider other people, they are still too invincible.
I live in a small community and remember being a teen and having that unbelievable feeling of freedom that some kids get from siting behind the wheel, in control of life and having the means to cart friends here and there. It was great, it was scary and on those days when I reminisce, unbelievable that I actually made it out of those years alive. I drank, I partied, I drove- friends as well rode along and I can only thank God that nothing as life altering ever happened with me behind the wheel or as a passenger.
We didn’t have cell phones so texting was not an issue, we had loud music, again that feeling of control, and above all we had stupidity, inexperience and in some cases a community that looked the other way, because of who one was related to, or perhaps was in denial itself that our partying ways may perhaps be a dangeron our narrow winding roads. Oh and if ‘they buckled down on the drinking thing-” Hey they might get caught too!
Over the years, I saw several of my friends, do the same thing as I and unfortunately there were a few occasions that didn’t end up with them savely, obliviously tucked into beds at the end of the day.
It was a warm summers day that I lost two friends to a horrible accident. One of them part of my family, the other a friend I grew up with and considered my best friend. Both just beginning what was their journey in life, one that ended way too quickly. That day, when the phone rang to tell us there had been an accident, it didn’t cross my mind that it could be really bad. AFter all I had been watching for years, my brother and all of his friends with their souped up cars, walk away from their crunched up cars after an accident into a pole, tree or a roll over that completely made one look away in disbelief that anyone could walk away from a vehicle so severely mangled.
The reality struck that day, when I drove to the scene and saw the face of my sister-in law. The denial, disbelief, anger and pain was almost touchable in her vacant eyes. The impact for me was a wake up call and a dose of reality that cut my heart completely in two. But probably saved me and or some of my friends.
I’m lucky.
I’m now watching two of my children take off on their journey behind the wheel. Was it different than my experience getting my license? Definately.
I watch the same activities in town go on as they did when I was a teen. Partying, driving while intoxicated on whatever drug of choice, the new addition of texting while doing so and a community that continues (often) to look the other way.
Do we (It’s a small community- of course most people hear whats going on and most know way to much about other peoples private lives and activities) do anything different- not really.
I’ve complained, reported incidents and approached our communities ‘officer’. I’ve tried to approach our school to have presentations with some of these kids whose lives have been completely changed because of driving under the influence, distracted driving or from just negligence or inexperience, be brought to our small community. Unfortunately the officer can’t do anything because he needs to see the erratic driving or have proof otherwise, the school – they think it’s a great idea, but can’t seem to pull it together to move forward.
As a parent of two teens, we talk. We discuss what is happening in our community, who is doing what and what their challenges are. Walking or biking somewhere – no earbuds in – pay attention, listen for oncoming traffic and above all – get into the ditch. Driving? They know the deal, I’m watching, listening and asking about how they are behaving. They know that often its a matter of watching out for the oncoming driver – again Pay attention! For the biggest part of the year, they know who to look out for in particular. Sad, but true particularly because this is a 24 hr a day job for them to pay attention to. Just last year we had one nasty drunken roll over in an area of my town where at least 10 kids are frequently walking, biking and skateboarding around. What happened to the driver- nothing. the vehicle was removed and hidden at a friends house, long enough for both individuals to sober up and well not be held accountable for something that could have been so much worse. Another vehicle into a pole after an individual had a fight with their partner. Again – area where kids are frequently found meandering about.
In small towns like mine, I think until we begin to make changes in how we represent and allow priveleges such as driving, we will continue to see tragic deaths and life altering injuries affecting people of all ages. Until we can start demanding a different attitude about handling texting, inexperience and use of alcohol and drugs while driving, we can do little.
It’s a problem that is going to need a huge number of people on board in order to change.
An excellent post jrob. A suggestion, if I may: join MADD. My wife was a charter member.
We count ourselves lucky. Three kids, raised in a college community with all it’s deadly distractions and nonchalant acceptance of drugs, and all survived. Oh, I twitched a car out of the woods and pulled one out of the ditch (different kids), but no injuries.
Mothers Against Drunk Driving at least gives you tested ideas for talking to your kids, and provides access to printed materials and techniques to get your local authorities and school officials to pay attention. It’s not a solution, but it is an effort and may save someone. See the post by Creuxx for an idea of the way it should be.
You’re up against the teenage invincibility syndrome. As old as I am, reading your post still gives me a chill up my spine. And I’ve learned that the day you give that kid the keys to drive on his or her own, you have to cut a lot of wood to take your mind off the worry.
The first thing that should be done is have all carriers block all texting while a vehicle is moving, if the phone is moving more then a brisk walk then it is blocked. Now I know someone will say what about the passengers, well tough, if they can’t wait too bad. We got along fine withOUT texting up until the last ten years or so.
Second thing is stop buying these kids new or fairly new cars, just look at a High School parking lots, they look like a car lot.
Take them where they plan to go and pick them up (at least until their 18).
Of course I know that this may inconvenience some parents, but for those of you that feel that way, consider this …………. which would you prefer, being a little inconvenienced or going to your child’s funeral?
So where is Adam today? He’s probably long forgotten about what he did. What penalty did he pay? He should have put in isolation in jail for at least a decade.
I graduated from HA a few years before this all happened, so I did not know any of the people in the vehicle personally except for 1. But I had friends still in HS who did, and were close with Val. My understanding fr0m what they told me is that the only time any remorse was shown (at least publicly) was in the courtroom. BTW, according to the all seeing facebook, he is living in FL, works at a restaurant, has a cute GF etc. Since I don’t know him personally and all my info is secondhand, and I’ve never been through anything like he has, I won’t come right out and agree with you, but my gut tells me you are probably mostly correct.
I will say that this accident is pretty much what smartened me up, as at the time I was still a teen driver….monroe rd was one of those roads we would all fly down, 75-80mph at times, because the little hills made it like riding a rollercoaster. Man, we were lucky. How we all made it through those years unscathed, I’ll never know. Speeding up and down Cadillac Mtn, jumping Cedar St. hill in bangor, racing down the highway as fast as our POS cars would go….man we were dumb. This story could have just have easily been written about me or one of my friends.
I graduated from HA a few years before this all happened, so I did not know any of the people in the vehicle personally except for 1. But I had friends still in HS who did, and were close with Val. My understanding fr0m what they told me is that the only time any remorse was shown (at least publicly) was in the courtroom. BTW, according to the all seeing facebook, he is living in FL, works at a restaurant, has a cute GF etc. Since I don’t know him personally and all my info is secondhand, and I’ve never been through anything like he has, I won’t come right out and agree with you, but my gut tells me you are probably mostly correct.
I will say that this accident is pretty much what smartened me up, as at the time I was still a teen driver….monroe rd was one of those roads we would all fly down, 75-80mph at times, because the little hills made it like riding a rollercoaster. Man, we were lucky. How we all made it through those years unscathed, I’ll never know. Speeding up and down Cadillac Mtn, jumping Cedar St. hill in bangor, racing down the highway as fast as our POS cars would go….man we were dumb. This story could have just have easily been written about me or one of my friends.
Shame on you, SHAME ON YOU…Have you not read that article? There was no happy outcome in this story, just pain…for you to assume that someone who had to go through such pain and hardship at such a young age, a young age where, as many posts have previously said, kids feel invincible…he has suffered enough and has every right to be happy and to move on with his life. Did you not read how he felt in that court room? It could happen to ANY NUMBER of kids in our state…growing up in Northern Maine, I dont know how many times kids would pull out of the high school and race down back roads, never thinking of the consequences and not comprehending the what ifs…unfortunately for Adam, he had to experience the worst possible outcome and I’m sure it changed him forever…and his family…and the community. For you to post such an insensitive and hurtful post…I think you should be placed in isolation…if we locked up every teenaged driver who made a poor decision, would we really be TEACHING them anything or creating a bigger problem in a society already filled with problems…You should be ashamed of yourself.
I remember that day. My kids were classmates to all those kids in that car. A parents nightmare. I have a new driver of a little over a year now and I still worry and talk to him before he heads out. I don’t feel the text and driving law is doing anything, kids still text all the time, I see them. I feel they need to pass a no holding law in Maine.
A lot of folks want to say that technology is the real problem here, however thats just not true. The core problem is the same now as it has always been. People in general and teenagers specifically don’t think it can happen to them. Invincible and in denial even when confronted by the truth everyone always asks that age old question, what did they do wrong?? Even 22 years after first earning my license I still see drivers of all ages doing very wrong things behind the wheel. Failing to signal and other moving violations. Not to mention speeding, drunk driving and failing to stop at traffic lights or stop signs. We have even gone so far as to pass laws that call for “no fault” insurance. No one is held accountable for anything anymore and even deliberate “choices” are labeled unfortunate tragic “accidents”. I bet Valerie’s parents know just were Adam is these days.
A nicely-written piece. Personal, touching, un-critical and optomistic.Thank-you.
A Hampden Academy Alumni.
RE LUTZGOSKATING’S UNQUALIFIED DEFENSE OF DRIVER ADAM AND MY ARROGANCE IN DARING TO CRITICIZE HIM: it’s so common for the perpetrator to get far more sympathy than the victim and the victim’s family and friends. Yes, Adam was remorseful in the court, and may still be, though others who know him indicate that he has “moved on”–as you clearly want(ed) him to do. As for the young lady, so it goes. You excuse Adam’s inexcusable driving as so common among young drivers as to be forgotten about. I daresay that if one of your children–if you have any–had been the victim here, you’d probably have a very different response all these years later. So say your prayers for Adam–whom I don’t know–and remain coldly indifferent toward his victim. Pathetic.
The fact of the matter here is that this was an accident. That boy did not set out that day saying to himself “Gee, I think I’ll drive wrecklessly and kill my friend”. He was a teenager, excited about his future and having fun with friends. You are right when you say that it is not right to defend the perpetrator when the victim as well as their family has suffered far more…but in this situation that is not the case nor is it true to say that Adam has been able to move on with his life without any pain or suffering. There is no greater punishment for a teenager than to be faced with the knowledge that a choice that you made lead to the death of a friend; there is no way to fully comprehend the kind of pain, suffering, and self torture that someone goes through when they are put in that position and I was simply trying to point this out as I dont feel it is right for people to be discussing where Adam is now, what he is doing, and how attractive his girlfriend is. That man has been to hell and back since all of those years ago and I know that this accident is probably never far from his mind…as I know it is not far from the victim’s family’s minds. I can’t imagine the pain that they have had to endure…not having their daughter graduate from high school, go to college, give them grandchildren…it isnt right and it isnt fair, just as it isnt fair for people that dont know Adam or or still passing judgment on him for something that was a very tragic, terrible accident. I have lost people to tragic accidents, and one of them was because of a drunk driver…and that driver truly didnt seem to care about his actions and I doubt he has learned anything from what he did; he and Adam are in no way the same person and I dont think that Adam should have any more judgment placed on his shoulders, shoulders that at that time were young and reckless…he has been put through more in his lifetime than most and should be left to try to live his life as happy as can be given the circumstances. I believe, rather than point fingers and lay blame, which, in this situation and many others, will not change the outcome. Lives were lost too young…and others were left to try to continue living with the knowledge of what they’d done…we need toughter driving laws, we need more supervised hours with driving instructors, and we need to come together as a community and bring about the changes that need to be made. We do not need to sit around and point our fingers and sling mud at a family who has gone through enough.
The fact of the matter here is that this was an accident. That boy did not set out that day saying to himself “Gee, I think I’ll drive wrecklessly and kill my friend”. He was a teenager, excited about his future and having fun with friends. You are right when you say that it is not right to defend the perpetrator when the victim as well as their family has suffered far more…but in this situation that is not the case nor is it true to say that Adam has been able to move on with his life without any pain or suffering. There is no greater punishment for a teenager than to be faced with the knowledge that a choice that you made lead to the death of a friend; there is no way to fully comprehend the kind of pain, suffering, and self torture that someone goes through when they are put in that position and I was simply trying to point this out as I dont feel it is right for people to be discussing where Adam is now, what he is doing, and how attractive his girlfriend is. That man has been to hell and back since all of those years ago and I know that this accident is probably never far from his mind…as I know it is not far from the victim’s family’s minds. I can’t imagine the pain that they have had to endure…not having their daughter graduate from high school, go to college, give them grandchildren…it isnt right and it isnt fair, just as it isnt fair for people that dont know Adam or or still passing judgment on him for something that was a very tragic, terrible accident. I have lost people to tragic accidents, and one of them was because of a drunk driver…and that driver truly didnt seem to care about his actions and I doubt he has learned anything from what he did; he and Adam are in no way the same person and I dont think that Adam should have any more judgment placed on his shoulders, shoulders that at that time were young and reckless…he has been put through more in his lifetime than most and should be left to try to live his life as happy as can be given the circumstances. I believe, rather than point fingers and lay blame, which, in this situation and many others, will not change the outcome. Lives were lost too young…and others were left to try to continue living with the knowledge of what they’d done…we need toughter driving laws, we need more supervised hours with driving instructors, and we need to come together as a community and bring about the changes that need to be made. We do not need to sit around and point our fingers and sling mud at a family who has gone through enough.