The holidays are fast approaching. For some of us, it means visiting aging parents whom we may not have seen in a while. This is the perfect opportunity to check out their environment and see how they are really getting along. The “We’re fine, dear” they utter on the phone may prove not be the case when you get your eyes on them.
No need to turn into a spy, but mental note-taking can provide a clear picture on mom and dad’s home life.
What should you look for when scanning your folks’ home? The first thing you will probably notice is how warm or cool the house is and how tidy it is, compared to the last visit. It is expected that people will slow down as they age, but marked differences should be addressed.
Determine whether the home is still safe. Are there stairs? Watch how your parents navigate them. Maybe an extra railing would be useful. Would they agree to having grab bars installed in the bathroom?
Observe them taking their medications. Are they diligent about timeframes or are they more haphazard about taking their pills?
If they are still driving, ask them to take you somewhere so you can observe their skill on the road. This is especially important if you see the car has a few more dings or dents than the last time you saw it.
Do you see unopened mail and bills sitting around? Are they keeping up with their finances?
Are they eating a healthful diet? Check the cupboards. Is a variety of food available or are the shelves a little empty, save for holiday goodies that may have been purchased especially for you?
It is never easy to see the changes that happen as loved ones age. Fortunately, there are numerous support systems available to caregivers. AARP is a comprehensive resource, and your local Area Agency on Aging has caregiver specialists who can assist you with any concerns and answer your questions on how to help keep your parents independent.
Coming to the realization you may be falling into the caregiver role is never easy. Reaching out for help sooner rather than later can make a big difference in your peace of mind.
Carol Higgins Taylor is an advocate for seniors and owns a public relations firm in Bangor.