I wonder if, in my lifetime, the powers that be will come to their senses and leave our time alone. I also wonder if I am the only one in the nation who gets totally messed up when we move the clocks ahead in the spring. The same thing happens when we move the clocks back in the fall. Time is important, but it is only when they start shifting it around on us that we understand just how important.
At least the people in charge of time make the change on a Sunday morning. That way most of us don’t have to worry about getting up for work at a new time the next day and have to rearrange our habits to adjust to the change. But, Monday morning is a totally different story.
The shower wakes me up but, as I step out from its steaming warmth I am engulfed by cold. Not your ordinary morning shivers but a deadening cold that reminds me too much of the depths of winter. My first thought is that my furnace has died. Then I remember our thermostats are all on timers set to warm different rooms at different times of the day and the bedroom isn’t due to be properly warmed up for another hour.
I hate driving to work in the dark. In fact, I hate driving anywhere in the dark. And, on a March morning, when I have just got used to driving in the light, going back to winter driving irritates the hell out of me. Driving in the dark brings back memories of January and February when all I can focus on is the bright headlights of passing cars made even brighter by the mountains of snow that border our back roads.
Being a teacher I am controlled by the ringing of bells that tell me where to be and where to go. Even though the clocks at school have been adjusted according to the new time, my mind and body are not even close to being ready for the new schedule. I am late for most, if not all, my classes and the only thing that keeps me thinking I am lost is that most of my students were just as confused.
The end of the day doesn’t come soon enough and I know I am about to enjoy the one benefit of setting the clocks ahead. As I am driving home I notice that most of the drivers around me are wearing new sunglasses they got for Christmas. Those who are not wearing glasses are seen squinting into the sun, driving 10 to 15 miles an hour below the speed limit, hoping not to hit or be hit on the way home.
The first thing I do as I enter my house is dive for the refrigerator. I am literally starving because of the change of time. I do not take the time to make a traditional sandwich I just eat everything one at a time, cramming a slice of ham, a slice of cheese and a couple of slices of bread into my mouth and then follow it down with a belt of A-1 sauce. Somehow, I hope they will form themselves into a sandwich on the way down to my stomach so my intestines will think I had a real meal. My wife, who also tells me she has been confused all day, makes dinner at the new time but I eat very little because I have just pigged out on A-1 sauce and cheese.
My night is not much better than my day. When I think I should be watching talk shows I am still watching the nightly news. When I think I should be watching the nightly news I am watching something about three Tasmanian Amazons who are trying to take over the world. If they do, maybe they can do something about daylight saving time.
Jim Fabiano is a retired teacher who lives in York.