The BDN Opinion section operates independently and does not set news policies or contribute to reporting or editing articles elsewhere in the newspaper or on bangordailynews.com
Jim LaPierre is the executive director of Higher Ground Services in Brewer.
I’d like to have a conversation with the folks who recently vandalized the rainbow crosswalk in Bangor. I seek this out of a sense of responsibility, as the perpetrators almost assuredly share the same privileged demographics as me:
They’re likely cis men. They probably identify as heterosexual. They’re likely Caucasian.
That’s where the similarities between us end. They’re likely the kind of men who question why there’s not a straight pride month because they don’t understand oppression, privilege, or pride in one’s identity. They’re probably the kind of men who think being a transgender individual is some new, made-up, nonsensical fad. Such hate is founded in ignorance, but they accept no responsibility for educating themselves.
I’ll bet that they don’t even consider what they did as hateful. They might find it humorous.
There’s nothing funny about it. What they did was unconscionable.
They probably don’t know who Charlie Howard was. I was 16 when he was murdered. In 1984, being Q+ was a completely socially ostracizing and very dangerous thing to openly be. We may be more tolerant as a culture, but we have a very, very long way to go. Statistically, the greatest threat to safety in our culture is faced by trans females who are also people of color.
The perpetrators of this vandalism won’t acknowledge what they did publicly because they’re cowardly. One of the very few things they likely fear is being held accountable for their actions. I think they show the emotional maturity of a child.
Allow me to share a few ideas about what I believe real masculinity is:
Good men take accountability for their actions. Good men empower and never oppress. Good men educate themselves about privilege and seek to be allies to all people who experience oppression. Good men understand gender is a social construct and that sexism is alive and well in our culture. Good men understand rape culture and actively work against it. Good men educate themselves about racism, transphobia, homophobia, ageism, able-bodiedism, and every other form of hate.
Finally, every gay, lesbian, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual individual was fathered by a man. So, as my Q+ family say, “Be careful who you hate, because it might be someone you love.”
Happy Pride from a proud dad.