ORONO – Dr. Robert Alexander Graves, 79, beloved husband of the late H. Josephine (Otto) Graves, died Nov. 20, 2003, at his home in Orono, in the company of his loving family. He was born May 18, 1924, in Presque Isle, the son of Harold K. and Ruth E. (Stevens) Graves. Bob was a graduate of Presque Isle High School. He nearly completed his undergraduate degree at the University of Maine at Orono during World War II, but because doctors were needed by the armed forces he finished only his pre-med requirements before continuing on to the University of Rochester School of Medicine. During medical school, he married his beloved “Jo,” his sweetheart from their days at the University of Maine; their daughter Deborah was born during his internship in Beverly, Mass. Bob was a general practitioner in Fort Fairfield beginning in 1949, serving as one of only three doctors in the area, delivering many babies, making house calls, and answering the phone day and night. Bob and Jo’s second child David was born in Fort Fairfield in 1950. During the Korean War, Bob served at Camp Drake outside of Tokyo, Japan as a doctor for the Army; he was joined by Jo, Deborah and David a year later and when they returned to the States in 1953 they brought with them their new twins, Stephen and Susan. In 1959 Bob was hired by the University of Maine at Orono to be Director of the Student Health Center, a position that allowed him to practice medicine and still spend time with his family, something that was difficult for a rural doctor to do. At the University, “Dr. Bob” was loved by students and colleagues alike, all of whom appreciated his genuine kindness, accepting manner, and straightforward advice. Bob and Jo and family became members of the Church of Universal Fellowship after they moved to Orono. In 1962, Bob and Jo’s youngest child Betsy was born. Bob was awarded an Honorary Degree from the University of Maine in 1970, the same year his daughter Deborah graduated from UM. Just before his retirement from the University in 1982, Bob began the campus Employee Assistance Program. Once Bob was retired, he and Jo became familiar faces at many lunch eateries in the area; they also traveled to see far-flung family members. Known as “Grandpa” or “Bumpa” to his grandchildren, Bob was a masterful soother of babies and small children, and though tone-deaf, he could occasionally be caught singing “By-lee-lee-lee” to those he loved. From 1985 to 1997, Bob wrote the health column for the Bangor Daily News, and many readers became fans of his knowledgeable, to-the-point writing style. Even in his writing, his warmth and good humor were evident. His writing also helped him cope with the death of his beloved Jo in 1993. Though he suffered from a debilitating memory loss in his later years, Bob’s life was greatly enhanced by his participation in the programs at My Friend’s Place in Bangor and Golden Years Adult Day Break in Old Town. Bob received wonderful care at home from Jen Granholm and other aides from New England Home Healthcare and A Loving Touch. He continued to enjoy visits with family and was pleased to see many members of his extended family at a reunion in Camden this past summer. Bob’s family is indebted to New Hope Hospice for the care they provided their whole family during the last weeks of Bob’s life. Bob is survived by his sister, Christine Riley, of Bedford, Va.; his sister-in-law, Maxine Graves, of Bangor; three daughters, Deborah Shoup and her husband, Vernon, of Castleton, N.Y., Susan Graves and her partner, Judith Pierson, of Cambridge, Mass., Betsy Rose and her husband, Mark, of Orono; one son, Stephen Graves and his wife, Margaret Roman, of Arlington, Va.; one daughter-in-law, Amanda Graves of Kensington, Md.; his grandchildren, Robert Graves II, Matthew Graves, Libby Shoup, Brittany Shoup, Alec Rose and Ben Rose; a great-grandson, Max Graves; and several nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by his wife; by his son David in 1997 and by his brother, Sidney in 2001. Friends may call 3-6 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 22, at Brookings-Smith, LaBeau Chapel, 72 Main St., Orono. A funeral service will be held 3 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 23, at the Church of Universal Fellowship, 82 Main St., Orono, with the Rev. Stephen St. Claire officiating. Interment will be in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, Dexter. Gifts in Bob’s memory may be made to My Friend’s Place, 703 Essex St., Bangor, ME 04401; New Hope Hospice, P.O. Box 757, Holden, ME 04429-0757 or to the Orono Public Library Building Foundation, 16 Goodridge Drive, Orono, ME 04473.
ROBERT A. GRAVES, M.D.
