It’s a good thing writing this column only requires exercising my mental voice. As I write it, I have lost my speaking voice due to a humdinger of a cold accompanied by laryngitis and an underlying exhaustion.
Fairly or unfairly, I credit this illness to one woman who decided to attend a committee meeting rather than stay home when she was ill enough to be explosively coughing and sneezing. I would not be surprised if several of the people who gathered with her that day are similarly speechless today.
Of course, I realize that I might have picked up my illness anywhere, and this woman might not be the source of my problem. Nevertheless, I feel certain she knowingly put all of those who met with her at risk to catch her illness. That’s because, when I tried to shake her hand to greet her, she stated clearly, “Oh you don’t want to shake hands with me. I’m a walking germ factory.”
“If you know this, why are you here?” I wanted to say. “Don’t you know that it’s not enough to refrain from shaking hands when your barely-covered coughs are filling the air with germs? If you feel absolutely compelled to be amidst the group, why aren’t you armed with a box of tissues, throat drops, and anything else you can use to cut down on the coughing?”
It is always troublesome when people put us at risk of catching their illnesses. Even during average flu seasons, I have had to work hard to bite my tongue when coughing and sneezing co-workers have chosen to attend meetings in enclosed rooms with me and my colleagues. But with the H1N1 flu threatening to run rampant, it is even harder for me to restrain myself from speaking the thing that is clearly on everyone but the flu-zie’s mind: “Would you please have the consideration to leave, so the rest of us will not be exposed to your illness?”
This is a classic case of the individual being put into a health-threatening situation and a socially awkward bind due to someone else’s poor judgment. Even though the ill person is the culprit, you feel you will be seen as profoundly rude if you point this out. In the crux of the situation, providing a box of tissues and opening a window to allow some fresh air into the room may seem the best you can do. If H1N1 really takes off, we may all become more outspoken.
Meanwhile, for the future, a pre-emptive strike may be the best approach. In the workplace, join forces with your colleagues and ask your human resources head to issue a company policy urging employees to stay home, or at least confine themselves to private offices when ill. In a more informal group, have the chairperson send out a group e-mail asking people to stay home when ill. This is not a bad idea for clergy, Scout leaders, sports coaches, committee heads, leaders of choral groups, and anyone who heads a group. Heads of day care programs would be well advised to follow the lead of school principals in advising parents to keep sick children home until they recover, too.
But don’t stop there. Be sure to offer support for the excluded person. Consider taking notes for him or her, and follow up with a phone call, e-mail, or even a delivery of fruit or tea, to show your concern and appreciation. Not only will you then be modeling considerate behavior, but you may help the afflicted person to recover more quickly, too.