Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.
I bow to no man (woman or child) in my support for the New England (should have been Boston) Patriots. You were not there for the early games at Boston College, Harvard University and Boston University. I was. Gerhard Schwedes was one of their first draft choices. Take that, newcomers.
Their first Super Bowl win over the Rams almost cost me my life. I walked around the Cobb Manor driveway waiting for the top of my head to come off from excitement. That made up for a lifetime (almost) of football, baseball and personal disappointment.
All right. I have established my credentials. Now I can say Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. If I don’t believe Tom Brady, no one does. No one on the Patriots squad would ever deflate a football without the approval of the Golden Boy. When that poor equipment guy said he was “The Deflator” do you really think he was talking about his weight loss?
Tommy has forgotten about the lesson of New York Yankee pitchers Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens. When both were caught with a needle in their behinds, Pettitte admitted it, and said he was just trying to heal faster from an injury. Clemens lied all the way to Congress and probably cost himself a spot at the Baseball Hall of Fame. Pettitte’s transgressions have been largely forgotten and forgiven while Clemens remains a poster boy of PED excess.
Handsome Tommy could have come before the press in that crew neck sweater, laughing when the “crime” was announced. With that movie star smile he could have said, “It’s all my fault. I told the guys the balls were a little hard. I never told them to deflate anything, but they could have taken it the wrong way. It’s all on me. I will never do it again, I can tell you that. Even Giselle is mad at me. My boys were crying. I didn’t think it was a big thing. I never considered it cheating, but it was all on me.”
The NFL would have fined Brady the stipulated $25,000 which would have been $1.75 to you and me. But no. Once the Patriots stonewalled the NFL investigation, the NFL went ballistic. Four games, indeed.
Now look. Deflategate leads the national news as well as the sports shows. I am frankly bored by the whole thing. My mind goes “click” when I hear the term Deflategate.
My favorite sports reporter Bob Ryan said, “If it was any other team, the controversy would have been settled by lunch.” But it was the Patriots. They hate us because they ain’t us. Ryan said Deflategate now will come down to “billable hours” for the army of attorneys on both sides now shining up their attaché cases.
A pox on both their houses.
One of the very few who likes this teapot tempest so far is Camden observer Leonard Lookner, who thinks its cool that the Patriots have taken on the pirate image of the old Oakland Raiders and Al Davis, instead of that choir boy image once fostered by the Patriots. That effort was derailed when their tight end was arrested for murder. Multiple murders. Now Deflategate has collected more attention and coverage than those multiple murders.
But does it matter if Brady is suspended for four games? The Patriots will still win the division thanks to the Jets, Dolphins and the pitiful Bills. Does anyone want to bet against the Patriots making the playoffs? I’m sure you don’t remember that the Patriots scorched the Colts 45-7 in the Deflategate game. One Colt said they would have lost even if beach balls were used.
Back to my boy Ryan. He said if this was the Jacksonville Jaguars being accused of dropping the footballs by a pound or two, you would never have even heard of it.
You know it’s true.
They hate us because they ain’t us.
Emmet Meara lives in Camden in blissful retirement after working as a reporter for the BDN in Rockland for 30 years.