I am, naturally, still reeling from my billion-dollar loss at the hands of the Powerball system. That ruined all of my plans, especially that villa on Captiva Island.
Naturally, there was skullduggery afoot (I watch “Sherlock”) when the numbers were drawn.
I don’t know if you heard, but a very bad son lottery-pranked his beloved mother by counterfeiting her real Powerball ticket. He added the winning numbers, and then told her she won. Her ticket was generously purchased by her employer, nursing home owner Schlomo Rechnitz, who spent $18,000 on tickets for his employees. Now, that’s a boss. She believed her son and started screaming. Rechnitz mistakenly publicized the “win” after the excited (unnamed) woman brought it to his attention.
“We were all talking about the Powerball and who would have thought that the actual winner would have been here at our facility. Having her win couldn’t have happened to a nicer person,” David Levy, administrator at Park Avenue Healthcare and Wellness in Pomona, California, told CNN on Thursday. The woman, who has not been named, reportedly celebrated with her colleagues at the nursing home. She completed her shift even though she believed she had won, according to station KABC.
Who does such a thing? Who completes their shift after winning a billion or so? It’s a good thing she did.
What became of the prankster son? We can only wonder what happened at home when his mother found out. There would have been no “wonder” if I had pulled that trick on my sainted mother. Several years later, a hunter would have found my remains in a shallow grave. You didn’t mess with Julia Twomey Meara.
She wasn’t the only unfortunate Powerball “winner.”
The employees at Grissini Ristorante in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey, decided to form a pool to buy tickets and agreed to share, equally. They checked the numbers on the Internet. They matched! The group erupted into cheers, jumping up and down at the restaurant bar. They thought they would each get $22 million in winnings, they told WTIX television.
Surprise!
The restaurant workers were looking at what turned out to be numbers from the previous drawing. The set of winning numbers online had not yet been updated on the Internet site. They won exactly nothing. It’s always a good thing to check that billion-dollar win before you quit your job, only after telling your boss exactly what you think of him, or her.
Who would pull a prank on friends regarding anything as serious and life-changing as a Powerball ticket? Jefferson Phil would.
The gang was in Florida several years ago watching the Red Sox when we made a road trip to the Florida swamps. The Florida Lottery had paid off a huge sum (a mere $30 million) the night before and we were still buzzing about it. We stopped to buy more lottery tickets at a gas station on the way back. Jefferson Phil lagged behind in the store and stayed much too long. We all knew something was up.
JP took the winning numbers from the night before and bought a current ticket with the old numbers. When he came out of the store to join us, he had that Polish grin on his face. He waited as long as he could. He knew that I still had the numbers from the night before. He handed me the new ticket with the old numbers on it. “I didn’t check my numbers last night. Can you check them?”
I found one winning number, then two. For a split second I got excited. Then I remembered who I was dealing with and checked the date. It was for the next drawing, not the last (winning) one. I crumbled the ticket and threw it at him with a few carefully chosen swears.
I have to admit it, but if he hadn’t taken so long, I might have fallen for it. Then he would have been disposed of in another shallow grave.
Who would DO such a thing?
Emmet Meara lives in Camden in blissful retirement after working as a reporter for the BDN in Rockland for 30 years.